This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz," "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll " From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic-no matter how crazy or ...
Author: Marcia Kester Doyle
Publisher: Booktrope Editions
Blogger Marcia Kester Doyle tells it like it is and nothing is off limits. Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle's madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz," "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll " From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic-no matter how crazy or unimaginable-is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who's ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.
Marcia Kester Doyle is the author of Who Stole My Spandex? She writes the
popular humor blog, Menopausal Mother. She has written for The Huffington Post
, Humor Outcasts, In the Powder Room, What The Flicka?, Scary Mommy,
Author: Elaine Ambrose
Publisher: Mill Park Publishing
Category: Family & Relationships
These humorous and inspirational blog posts from 45 of the best midlife bloggers offer proof that tumbling over the far side of 45 is worth the journey. This anthology includes the true story of the middle-aged woman who attempted to give her husband a lap dance in the kitchen but the result was anything but steamy. Another writer describes how you’re allowed to teach your grandchild descriptive words such as “dingleberry” and “fartcake” without an ounce of guilt. Other bloggers offers poignant stories about aging, caregiving, and how to celebrate Mother’s Day after the children are grown and live far away. These feisty females will encourage you to keep your chins up and your reading glasses handy!
Other synthetic fabrics used in the new futurewear are ciré , a wet - look fabric
with stretch , and Lycra spandex , the ... What would your reaction be to a
someone who looked like he stole the shirt he was wearing from one of the
She was a crook — who stole police cruisers. ERASE SKIN ... SUPER FORMULA
"GONE SKIN CREME' She stole my heart and stomped all over it Dear ... Soft,
senusous 100% nylon knit with a special all-around control top of nylon/Spandex.
Rooted in the creative success of over 30 years of supermarket tabloid publishing, the Weekly World News has been the world's only reliable news source since 1979. The online hub www.weeklyworldnews.com is a leading entertainment news site.
ROB BECKER'S DEFENDING THE CAVEMAN : Helen Hayes , 240 W. 44th St.
307-4100 . ... guitarist Howard Alden , ( even Townshend admits that he stole
from trumpeter Randy Sandke , saxophonist Rickey the Kinks ) , this great
songwriter should be as Woodard , and drummer Al ... Though the band
members are reputed to be well into their forties , word on the street is they still
look good in spandex .
spandex racing suit . “ I mean , the guy was huge , but this woman kept fighting
him with what must have been some kind of Taser . You should have seen the
sparks . I picked up my bike and hit the guy with it . He sort of batted it aside , and
Author: Esri Rose
Publisher: Zebra Books
When her people are stricken with a mysterious memory loss, Adlia, an outsider among her own elven kind, must race against time to save them before she forgets everything including her newfound relationship with a gorgeous human. Original.
Spandex. Robin. Hood. Films. The. Background. The quasihistorical figure of
Robin Hood joins Joan of Arc as perhaps the ... Hood is too popular, for during the writing of this chapter, one of my books on the legendary thief was actually stolen!
Author: John Aberth
Imagining the Middle Ages is an unprecedented examination of the historical content of films depicting the medieval period from the 11th to the 15th centuries. Historians increasingly feel the need to weigh in on popular depictions of the past, since so much of the public's knowledge of history comes from popular mediums. Aberth dissects how each film interpreted the period, offering estimations of the historical accuracy of the works and demonstrating how they project their own contemporary era's obsessions and fears onto the past.
The voice that made me get out of my car, that called me a lazy pig for walking
instead of running around the block, would get back in ... Evil was holding me
back, allowing my car to be stolen in front of my eyes. And my dog! Oh my God!
Bean! I screamed out her name, “BEAN!!! ... We stood there, facing each other,
him in his blue vest and me in my platform offcamera shoes and spandex shorts
with the ...
Author: Portia de Rossi
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Category: Biography & Autobiography
"I didn't decide to become anorexic. It snuck up on me disguised as a healthy diet, a professional attitude. Although there was a certain glamour to anorexics, I didn't want to be one. I just wanted to excel in dieting. And weighing in at 80 pounds on 300 calories a day, I was the best little dieter there ever was." In scalding prose, Portia de Rossi reveals the pain and illness that haunted her for decades. She alternately starved herself and binged, putting her life in danger and lying to herself and everyone around her about the depth of her illness. From her lowest point, Portia began the painful climb back to health and happiness, ultimately falling head over heels in love with Ellen DeGeneres. In this remarkable and landmark book, she tells a story that inspires hope and nourishes the spirit.
Flexible friend LOVE IT OR LOATHE IT , LYCRA CHANGED THE FACE OF
FASHION FOREVER If you ever watched the ... Says Schoeser : extort 10 million
dollars for the safe return of ' Just because it ' s not fashionable like it was in stolen ...
You know when someer been on a set with so much Spandex or thing ' s so good
, you can ' t believe it hasn ' t been four - inch heels ... When she wails , “
Someone in , and the super - grumbling begins as soon as stole my Visa check
SOMEONE BROKE INTO THE TOOL SHED and took our bicycles. ... Whoever stole it, returned it. ... So while other cyclists move up to spandex shorts and the
multiple gears of the biking world, you will see me on this old junker with the
Author: Oliver A. Houck
Publisher: Univ. Press of Mississippi
The lower Mississippi River winds past the City of New Orleans between enormous levees and a rim of sand, mud, and trees called "the batture." On this remote and ignored piece of land thrives a humanity unique to the region-ramblers, artists, drinkers, fishers, rabbit hunters, dog walkers, sunset watchers, and refugees from Immigration, alimony, and other aspects of modern life. Author Oliver A. Houck has frequented this place for the past twenty-five years. Down on the Batture describes a life, pastoral, at times marginal, but remarkably fecund and surprising. From this place he meditates on Louisiana, the state of the waterway, and its larger environs. He describes all the actors that have played lead roles on the edge of the mightiest river of the continent, and includes in his narrative plantations, pollution, murder, land grabs, keelboat brawlers, slave rebellions, the Corps of Engineers, and the oil industry. Houck draws from his experience in New Orleans since the early 1970s in the practice and teaching of law. He has been a player in many of the issues he describes, although he does not undertake to argue them here. Instead, story by story, he uses the batture to explore the forces that have shaped and spell out the future of the region. The picture emerges of a place that---for all its tangle of undergrowth, drifting humanity, shifting dimensions in the rise and fall of floodwater---provides respite and sanctuary for values that are original to America and ever at risk from the homogenizing forces of civilization.
... Mesh Knit • Sheer Appearance • Comfortable • Long Wearing • Nylon & Spandex • Beige Color Satisfaction Guaranteed or Money Back ! ... Each Gral
bag is different , and you is guaranteed to col tain at least 300 stamps - and your
satisfaction is guaranteed . ... a big guy from Chi - cago stole my heart and took
me ' out of the country , ' ” Helen Lenehan , newly elected National Guard , said
with a laugh .
Robotdoll and his wife regularly act out his robot fantasies in silver lycra
bodysuits that he bought in an East Village hosiery store. ... “The hardest part of
this was (don't laugh too hard) hiding the pantyhose I stole from my mom... I found
that I ...
Author: Katharine Gates
Publisher: powerHouse Books
An anthropological look at the explosion of extreme fetishes and post-modern eroticisms at the beginning of the new millennium. Illustrations.
You're probably the only one in the whole project not got a gun.” “Gimme ... Even
got some spandex in it. You'd ... I gave him the two dollars, took the shirt, and
trudged back to my CR-V. There was a sleek black car parked just in front of mine
Author: Janet Evanovich
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
The #1 bestselling phenomenon continues in the eighth Stephanie Plum novel. The stakes get higher, the crimes get nastier, the chases get faster, and the men get hotter. This time Stephanie, Morelli, Ranger. Lula, Valerie, and Grandma Mazur are strapped in for the ride of their lives. Stephanie is hired to find a missing child. But things aren't always as they seem and Stephanie must determine if she's working for the right side of the law. Plus, there's the Morelli question: can a Jersey girl keep her head on straight when more than just bullets are aimed for her heart? And with the Plum and Morelli relationship looking rocky, is it time for Ranger to move in for the kill? Janet Evanovich's latest thriller proves that Hard Eight will never be enough.
But the inner revolution at night no longer seemed to hold me . ... She said , “ That
woman- that bitchalmost stole my husband . ... In the dresser I found panties ,
bras , leg warmers , headbands , and one red and one green spandex suit .
Author: Nan Cuba
A gathering of the literary and visual artists of national and international repute who happen to live or have lived in San Antonio. Includes full-color illustrations; poems; and excerpts from essays, fiction, and creative nonfiction --Provided by publisher.
the men looked sheepish, as if they'd stolen a glimpse of something they shouldn'
t have. ... No more champagne cocktails and the tight thrilling clasp of spandex
across the bottom — from here on out it was stinking mouths and receding gums.
Our instructor, heavily pregnant with her second child, sat before us like a spandex-clad fertility goddess, her back ... I stole glances at women smiling
blissfully with eyes closed, rubbing their midsections in gentle circles like the
Author: Krista Bremer
Publisher: Algonquin Books
Category: Biography & Autobiography
A Western woman finds love and struggle with her Libyan husband in a memoir of marriage across a cultural divide: “A sweet and rewarding journey of a book” (Kirkus Reviews). Fifteen years ago, Krista Bremer, a California-bred feminist, surfer, and aspiring journalist, met and fell in love with a man from a very different world. Ismail Suayah was sincere, passionate, kind, and one of eight siblings born in an impoverished fishing village in Libya. Raised a Muslim, Ismail’s faith informed his life. When Krista and Ismail made the decision to become a family, she embarked on a journey she never could have imagined: a quest for spiritual and intellectual growth that would open her mind and, more important, her heart. “A bold piece of writing (and thinking) by an incredibly brave woman.” —Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat Pray Love “Utterly absorbing . . . A beautiful book.” —Cheryl Strayed, New York Times–bestselling author of Wild
He told me that both he and his shrink agreed I needed help badly , was frigid ( I
no longer wanted to sleep with him ) ... or stolen trappings of my adolescence : a
litany of rubber , metal bands , garters , boning , a rosary of spandex and lycra
Two : Scene From The Outlaw ' s Trail Of Tears ( Action ) I wander the interstate
hitching for a ride anywhere but here . ... story where he stole her for a bounty of
gold , delivered her to the reservation of his own design , the story about trading her for the fabric of a worn - out marriage . ... palm trees line the streets and
hillsides like soldiers , where exotic women in spandex hotpants will grant you
Author: Tiffany Midge
Fiction. "OUTLAWS, RENEGADES AND SAINTS is an explosion of talent and imagination. The language sizzles, the images are burned into memory, the living and the dead are conversing in this powerful first book"-Susan Power.