The Onion Presents Christmas Exposed

The Onion Presents  Christmas Exposed

... the QNIQN PRESENTS CHRISTMAS XPOSE HOLIDAY COVERAGE FROM
AM BRICA'S FINEST NEWS SOURCE by the SlalTnl' Q the ONION Q GU"! IOOKS
ammo-l. Copyright © 2011 by Onion, Inc. theonion.com All rights reserved.

Author: The Onion Staff

Publisher: Quirk Books

ISBN: 9781594745447

Category: Humor

Page: 176

View: 833

Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without impulse-priced holiday gift books—and now The Onion has unleashed its award-winning team of investigative journalists upon the genre. Christmas Exposed features more than one hundred shocking tales of Secret Santas, shopping mall mayhem, dysfunctional family dinners, and much, much more.
Categories: Humor

Our Dumb Century One Hundred Years of Headlines from America s News Source

Our Dumb Century  One Hundred Years of Headlines from America s News Source

This collection of front page news stories from The Onion, a satirical magazine from America, includes such headlines as World's Largest Metaphor hits Ice-Berg: Titanic Representation of man's Hubris Sinks in North Atlantic, and Marijuana ...

Author: Scott Dikkers

Publisher:

ISBN: 0752217437

Category: American wit and humor

Page: 164

View: 677

This collection of front page news stories from The Onion, a satirical magazine from America, includes such headlines as World's Largest Metaphor hits Ice-Berg: Titanic Representation of man's Hubris Sinks in North Atlantic, and Marijuana Smoking Linked to Getting High.
Categories: American wit and humor

The Onion Presents A Book of Jean s Own

The Onion Presents A Book of Jean s Own

All New Wit, Wisdom, and Wackiness from The Onion's Beloved Humor
Columnist Jean Teasdale. the long term. This will be the driving and overarching
point in the mass reeducation retreats my administration will be opening
throughout the ...

Author: Jean Teasdale

Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin

ISBN: 9781429951821

Category: Humor

Page: 272

View: 656

A few words from the author and eponymous columnist behind The Onion's column, "A Room of Jean's Own," Jean Teasdale: Hi Jeanketeers and Jeanketeers-to-be!! As The Onion's very own Humor and Human-Interest columnist, I've been entertaining readers for 15 years with kooky tales of life with my hubby and our two feline children. Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!) A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to! Among the many nuggets of fun: * I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name! * I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting! * Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own! * Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs! * You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party! * Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree! * Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!) * Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!) I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!
Categories: Humor

The Onion Presents

The Onion Presents

Author: Carol Kolb

Publisher:

ISBN: OCLC:1200544554

Category: American wit and humor

Page: 313

View: 882

Categories: American wit and humor

The Onion Presents Love Sex and Other Natural Disasters

The Onion Presents  Love  Sex  and Other Natural Disasters

Relationship Reporting from America's Finest News Source The Staff of The
Onion. One of Duquette's many sharp-looking presentation materials. “I said, 'See
this line graph, Chris?' ” Duquette recalled. “ 'It clearly shows how my interest in
you ...

Author: The Staff of The Onion

Publisher: Quirk Books

ISBN: 9781594745553

Category: Humor

Page: 144

View: 265

Here are more than one hundred news stories of high-school sweethearts, college hook-ups, dating disasters, weddings, divorces, and restraining orders. From “18-Year-Old Miraculously Finds Soulmate in Hometown” to “Couple Forgets 70th Wedding Anniversary,” these reports capture the heartbreak and hilarity of the human experience.
Categories: Humor

The Onion Magazine

The Onion Magazine

The Iconic Covers that Transformed an Undeserving World The Onion. ALSO BY
THE ONION Our Dumb Century: The Onion Presents 100 Years of Headlines
from America's Finest News Source The Onion's Finest News Reporting, Volume
 ...

Author: The Onion

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 9780316256483

Category: Humor

Page: 272

View: 379

From America's Finest News Source comes a compilation of the most important, most influential, and glossiest magazine covers ever produced by the hand of humankind. Seen by tens of billions worldwide, these are the unforgettable Onion Magazine covers that altered the course of human history and radically redefined your trivial life anew every weekend. Profound philosophical questions, the thoughts of leading cultural luminaries, harsh truths of existence, remorseless personal attacks -- you will encounter full-color graphical representations of all of these within this handsome volume. Whether you are a connoisseur of pretty pictures or are new to looking at images, The Onion Magazine: The Iconic Covers that Transformed an Undeserving World is sure to give you, the feebleminded consumer, far more pleasure than you have any earthly right to experience.
Categories: Humor

The Dead Celebrity Cookbook Presents Christmas in Tinseltown

The Dead Celebrity Cookbook Presents Christmas in Tinseltown

Although he was Italian, the recipe he left behind is German. It's inka-dinka-
delicious, too! Jimmy Durante' German Cole Slaw Finely shred the cabbage.
Finely chop the onion. Mix the cabbage and the onion. Sprinkle the vinegar on
top and ...

Author: Frank DeCaro

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 9780757317019

Category: Cooking

Page: 240

View: 743

The toast of Christmas past is back and not a moment too soon! In The Dead Celebrity Christmas Cookbook, Frank DeCaro serves up culinary delights from Edmund Gwenn's Christmas Cup to Bing Crosby's Sugar Cookies and celebrates the best of the season's movies, TV specials, and music. Recipes from such late luminaries as Natalie Wood, Judy Garland, Burl Ives, Dinah Shore, and even Boris Karloff are featured in chapters saluting fabulous amusements like Miracle on 34th Street, Meet Me in St. Louis, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Pee-wee's Playhouse Christmas Special, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Plus recipes from singers like Eartha Kitt ("Santa Baby"), Elvis Presley ("Blue Christmas"), and John Lennon ("Happy Xmas (War is Over)") celebrate the best holiday platters.
Categories: Cooking

The Onion and Philosophy

The Onion and Philosophy

As he points out in the Philosophical Investigations: The problems arising
through a misinterpretation of our forms of language have ... I believe this is a
partial explanation for what is philosophical about The Onion—that it presents
arguments.

Author: Sharon M. Kaye

Publisher: Open Court

ISBN: 9780812697247

Category: Philosophy

Page: 320

View: 144

The Onion, with its unique brand of deadpan satirical humor, has become a familiar part of the American scene. The newspaper has a readership of over a million, and reaches millions more with its spin-off books and Onion News Network. The Onion has shown us that standard ways of thinking about the news have their grotesque and silly side, and this invites philosophical examination. Twenty-one philosophers were commissioned to provide witty philosophical perspectives on just what makes the Onion so truthful and insightful. Former Governor Sarah Palin reported: “I just couldn’t put it down. The Onion and Philosophy is the most exciting book I’ve read since Principia Mathematica.” Are the Onion writers truly cynical, or just cynically faking it? Does the Onion really have a serious point of view on religion? On sex? On politics? Who cares what Area Man thinks? If everyone’s so dumb, how come so many Onion readers keep on laughing at how dumb they are?
Categories: Philosophy

A History of All Nations from the Earliest Periods to the Present Time

A History of All Nations  from the Earliest Periods to the Present Time

Or, Universal History: in which the History of Every Nation, Ancient and Modern,
is Separately Given Samuel Griswold Goodrich ... looks desolate during the dry
season , yet nothing can be more charming than the prospect which the face of
the country presents , when the season of verdure returns . ... The ancient
Egyptians indeed worshipped the onion , * and “ shed tears at the scent of a
deified leek .

Author: Samuel Griswold Goodrich

Publisher:

ISBN: STANFORD:36105048547231

Category: World history

Page: 1221

View: 366

Categories: World history

A History of All Nations from the Earlier Periods to the Present Time

A History of All Nations  from the Earlier Periods to the Present Time

Or, Universal History : in which the History of Every Nation, Ancient and Modern,
is Separately Given. , VEGETABLE ... The ancient Egyptians indeed worshipped
the onion , * and “ shed tears at the scent of a deified leek . ” The Egyptian ...

Author:

Publisher:

ISBN: HARVARD:32044058119116

Category: World history

Page:

View: 968

Categories: World history

The Onion Ad Nauseam

The Onion Ad Nauseam

the ONION av.club Week after week , The Onion A.V. Club presents interviews
with people like Robert Altman , Chuck Jones , Pam Grier , Merle Haggard , and
an assortment of bitter , jilted cranks who've been in the entertainment TENACITY
 ...

Author: Robert Siegel

Publisher:

ISBN: 140004961X

Category: Humor

Page: 264

View: 678

An anthology encompassing hundreds of articles from November 2001 through October 2002, includes "Area Man Not Exactly Sure When to Take Down American Flags" and such post-September 11 works as "Spaghetti-Os Discontinued as Franco-American Relations Break
Categories: Humor

Questions in Botany

Questions in Botany

What change does the albumen undergo as the secd ripens and germinates ?
How is it ... 35 What peculiarity do the cotyledons of the four - o'clock ( Mirabilis )
present ? How are the ... 42 The seed of the Onion presents what peculiarity ?

Author: F. E. Stratton

Publisher:

ISBN: IOWA:31858001292048

Category: Botany

Page: 58

View: 733

Categories: Botany

The Time Paradox

The Time Paradox

This spoof in the satirical weekly The Onion (July 12, 2007) captures how many
Presents really feel. Work is the antithesis of play, and most work requires
discipline, perseverance, long hours, and delayed gratification, not typical
present ...

Author: Philip Zimbardo

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 9781416541981

Category: Psychology

Page: 358

View: 404

Reveals how your individual time perspective shapes your life and is shaped by the world around you, interacting to create national cultures, economics, and personal destinies.
Categories: Psychology

The Land of the Permauls Or Cochin Its Past and Its Present

The Land of the Permauls  Or  Cochin  Its Past and Its Present

They themselves are exempt from capital punishment , ( in the Native State , )
and their offences are treated with the ... spiritual guide , who in cases of grave
delinquency , such as eating a porcupine , a snake , or an onion , has the power
of ...

Author: Francis Day

Publisher:

ISBN: OXFORD:N13191937

Category: Cochin (Princely State)

Page: 577

View: 696

Categories: Cochin (Princely State)

Robbins and Cotran Pathologic Basis of Disease Professional Edition E Book

Robbins and Cotran Pathologic Basis of Disease  Professional Edition E Book

The axon is often present in the center of the onion bulb, and the myelin sheath is
usually thin or absent. The redundant layers of Schwann cell hyperplasia
surrounding individual axons are associated with enlargement of involved
peripheral ...

Author: Vinay Kumar

Publisher: Elsevier Health Sciences

ISBN: 9781437721829

Category: Medical

Page: 1464

View: 378

One of the best-selling medical textbooks of all time, Robbins and Cotran Pathologic Basis of Disease is the one book you likely purchased as a medical student that still provides answers now that you're in practice. The new PROFESSIONAL EDITION is the same "who's who" of pathology experts that delivers the most dependable, current, and complete coverage of today's essential pathology knowledge, now enhanced with PERKS DESIGNED SPECIALLY FOR YOU AS A PRACTITIONER. Masterful editing and a practical organization make learning or reinforcing every concept remarkably easy. The result remains the ideal source for an optimal understanding of pathology at its core. Offers the most authoritative and comprehensive, yet readable coverage available in any pathology textbook, making it ideal for USMLE or specialty board preparation as well as for course work
Categories: Medical

Robbins Cotran Pathologic Basis of Disease E Book

Robbins   Cotran Pathologic Basis of Disease E Book

The axon is often present in the center of the onion bulb, and the myelin sheath is
usually thin or absent. The redundant layers of Schwann cell hyperplasia
surrounding individual axons are associated with enlargement of involved
peripheral ...

Author: Vinay Kumar

Publisher: Elsevier Health Sciences

ISBN: 9781437720150

Category: Medical

Page: 1464

View: 723

One of the best-selling medical textbooks of all time, Robbins and Cotran Pathologic Basis of Disease is the one book that nearly all medical students purchase, and is also widely used by physicians worldwide. A "who's who" of pathology experts delivers the most dependable, current, and complete coverage of today's essential pathology knowledge. At the same time, masterful editing and a practical organization make mastering every concept remarkably easy. The result remains the ideal source for an optimal understanding of pathology. Offers the most authoritative and comprehensive, yet readable coverage available in any pathology textbook, making it ideal for USMLE or specialty board preparation as well as for course work. Delivers a state-of-the-art understanding of the pathologic basis of disease through completely updated coverage, including the latest cellular and molecular biology. Demonstrates every concept visually with over 1,600 full-color photomicrographs and conceptual diagrams - many revised for even better quality. Facilitates learning with an outstanding full-color, highly user-friendly design.
Categories: Medical

Titanic 100th Anniversary Edition

Titanic 100th Anniversary Edition

33343536. 3738. 394o. Scott Dikkers, Our Dumb Century: The Onion Presents
100 Years ofHeadlines from Anericas Finest News Source (New Yorlc Crown,
1999), p. 13. Fred Shapiro, 'Quotes Uncovered: Giants' Shoulders and Deck
Chairs', ...

Author: Stephanie Barczewski

Publisher: A&C Black

ISBN: 9781441193087

Category: History

Page: 384

View: 605

In a night of unforgettable tragedy, the world's most famous liner struck an iceberg on 14 April 1912 and sank. Over 1500 people died. Whose fault it was, and how the passengers and crew reacted, has been the subject of continuing dispute over the 100 years since the disaster. This is an account of Titanic's tragic maiden voyage which also focuses on some of those who died: among them Titanic's captain Edward Smith and builder Thomas Andrews, John Jacob Astor, the richest man on board, and the bandmaster, Wallace Hartley, who played as the ship sank. In this centenary edition Stephanie Barczewski traces the events of that fatal night. Many of those who died were treated as heroes and how these men were remembered says much about contemporary values of manhood, chivalry and national pride. Titanic: A Night Remembered also sets the liner in the context of three ports: Belfast, where she was built; Southampton, which lost 600 citizens as members of her crew; and Queenstown in Ireland, her last port of call.
Categories: History

Ann Welcome Presents the 160 Honorable Mention Recipes in the 250 Prize Contest

Ann Welcome Presents the 160 Honorable Mention Recipes in the  250 Prize Contest

Hollow out with a liquor of hot water and melted the inside , removing the seeds ,
and bacon fat . ... Cut the onion Serve on a hot platter garnished and the garlic
fine and fry it until with toasted marshmallows . golden brown . Chop the spinach
 ...

Author:

Publisher:

ISBN: UCSD:31822035083344

Category: Cooking, American

Page: 47

View: 392

Categories: Cooking, American

Homeland Insecurity

Homeland Insecurity

95 ) the ONION AD NAUSEAM Fanfare for the Area Man Fanfare for the Area
Man 1 - 4000 - 5455 - 9 $ 17 . 95 paper ( Canada : $ 25 . 95 ) ANERASTUSEST
NEWS SUURE COMPLETE NEWS ARCHSTS VOLUNT the ONION PRESENTS
 ...

Author: Amie Barrodale

Publisher: Random House Digital, Inc.

ISBN: STANFORD:36105124216818

Category: Humor

Page: 312

View: 670

A wild and wicked parody of America's preoccupation with national security offers a selection of whimsical news stories, opinion pieces, and blurbs that offer a pointed look at Donald Rumsfeld, America's dependence on foreign oil, domestic surveillance, and other hot topics. Original. 150,000 first printing.
Categories: Humor