How to Be an Adult in Relationships

How to Be an Adult in Relationships

Even if we did not find the five A's in childhood , we can find them - and give them - in a truly intimate adult relationship that allows a no - holds - barred exchange of feelings . Not all healthy relationships offer this , of course ...

Author: David Richo

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

ISBN: 9781611809541

Category: Self-Help

Page: 312

View: 437

This beloved book has touched hundreds of thousands of lives with its profound and actionable advice. Retaining the core message of becoming more mindful in our relationships, this edition includes new and revised material that addresses how we live and love today. A new preface touches on David Richo’s experience with the book over time and outlines the key updates, including attention to online dating and modern communication styles as well as new perspectives on anger and ending relationships. “Most people think of love as a feeling,” says Richo, “but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.” How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships. Adult love is based on a mutual commitment to what Richo calls the “five A’s”: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. Brimming with practical exercises for couples and singles, How to Be an Adult in Relationships offers heartening insights into a lifelong journey of love. Topics include: • Becoming conscious of our relationship patterns and how they relate to childhood • Recognizing and attracting someone who can show adult love • Understanding the phases relationships go through • Creating and maintaining healthy boundaries • Overcoming fears of abandonment and engulfment • Expressing anger and other emotions in adult and loving ways • Surviving break-ups with our self-esteem intact • Understanding love as a spiritual journey
Categories: Self-Help

When the Past Is Present

When the Past Is Present

Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships David Richo. n this illuminating book, ... He is the author of numerous books including How to Be an Adult in Relationships and The Five Things We Cannot Change.

Author: David Richo

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

ISBN: 0834823179

Category: Self-Help

Page: 224

View: 779

In this book, psychotherapist David Richo explores how we replay the past in our present-day relationships—and how we can free ourselves from this destructive pattern. We all have a tendency to transfer potent feelings, needs, expectations, and beliefs from childhood or from former relationships onto the people in our daily lives, whether they are our intimate partners, friends, or acquaintances. When the Past Is Present helps us to become more aware of the ways we slip into the past so that we can identify our emotional baggage and take steps to unpack it and put it where it belongs. Drawing on decades of experience as a psychotherapist, Richo helps readers to: • Understand how the wounds of childhood become exposed in adult relationships—and why this is a gift • Identify and heal the emotional wounds we carry over from the past so that they won't sabotage present-day relationships • Recognize how strong attractions and aversions to people in the present can be signals of own own unfinished business • Use mindfulness to stay in the present moment and cultivate authentic intimacy
Categories: Self-Help

The Five Things We Cannot Change

The Five Things We Cannot Change

GIVENS OF ADULT RELATING In a previous book, How to Be an Adult in Relationships, I explored the hallmarks of mature, lasting love. When we accept the fact that people are not loving or loyal all the time, we take a major step toward ...

Author: David Richo

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

ISBN: 9781590305560

Category: Self-Help

Page: 237

View: 223

Introduces five simple truths that, when accepted, can lead to lifelong contentment: everything changes and ends, things do not always go according to plan, life is not always fair, pain is a part of life, and people are not loving and loyal all the time.
Categories: Self-Help

You Are Not Your Brain

You Are Not Your Brain

relationships with other people. ... They are also what we want in our adult relationships today. In his book How to Be an Adult in Relationships, Richo compares and contrasts the 5 A's with what happens in unhealthy or unequal ...

Author: Jeffrey Schwartz MD

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 9781101516119

Category: Psychology

Page: 368

View: 764

Two neuroscience experts explain how their 4-Step Method can help break destructive thoughts and actions and change bad habits for good. A leading neuroplasticity researcher and the coauthor of the groundbreaking books Brain Lock and The Mind and the Brain, Jeffrey M. Schwartz has spent his career studying the structure and neuronal firing patterns of the human brain. He pioneered the first mindfulness-based treatment program for people suffering from OCD, teaching patients how to achieve long-term relief from their compulsions. For the past six years, Schwartz has worked with psychiatrist Rebecca Gladding to refine a program that successfully explains how the brain works and why we often feel besieged by bad brain wiring. Just like with the compulsions of OCD patients, they discovered that bad habits, social anxieties, self-deprecating thoughts, and compulsive overindulgence are all rooted in overactive brain circuits. The key to making life changes that you want-to make your brain work for you-is to consciously choose to "starve" these circuits of focused attention, thereby decreasing their influence and strength. As evidenced by the huge success of Schwartz's previous books, as well as Daniel Amen's Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, and Norman Doidge's The Brain That Changes Itself, there is a large audience interested in harnessing the brain's untapped potential, yearning for a step-by-step, scientifically grounded and clinically proven approach. In fact, readers of Brain Lock wrote to the authors in record numbers asking for such a book. In You Are Not Your Brain, Schwartz and Gladding carefully outline their program, showing readers how to identify negative brain impulses, channel them through the power of focused attention, and ultimately lead more fulfilling and empowered lives.
Categories: Psychology

Adolescent Romantic Relationships as Precursors of Healthy Adult Marriages

Adolescent Romantic Relationships as Precursors of Healthy Adult Marriages

the individual's models of what intimate relationships are like, presumably developed through early interactions with ... Having highlighted adult relationship and marital outcomes, the framework groups all other outcomes as adult ...

Author: Benjamin R. Karney

Publisher: Rand Corporation

ISBN: 9780833041784

Category: Education

Page: 124

View: 844

Policymakers are interested in promoting healthy marriages in adulthood by providing services to strengthen the adolescent precursors of healthy marriage, especially within low-income populations. But if programs and curricula targeting adolescent romantic relationships are to be effective, they must be grounded in an accurate understanding of how adolescent relationships function and the role that they play in the development of healthy adult marriages. This report evaluates the current landscape of theory, research, and interventions addressing the role of adolescent romantic relationships in the development of healthy adult marriages. Drawing on a thorough review of the existing theoretical and empirical literature in this area, as well as interviews with practitioners directly involved with developing or administering relationship education to adolescents, the authors bring together relevant research and theory from a wide range of disciplines that have examined these issues, and suggest future directions for research and intervention. In particular, they note that although research describing romantic relationships in low-income populations is sparse, there are already-existing nationally representative data sets that include data from substantial numbers of well-sampled low-income adolescents. Analyses of these data would have relatively low cost and a potentially high yield for informing policies that target low-income youth.
Categories: Education

From Sh tshow to Afterglow

From Sh tshow to Afterglow

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller. ... How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving by David Richo.

Author: Ariel Meadow Stallings

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 9781580059626

Category: Self-Help

Page: 288

View: 779

Rebound after loss, grief, and the other cruel crises life throws your way with this irreverent guide -- the perfect anti-self-help book. Sometimes your foundation crumbles. Sometimes you realize there wasn't a foundation to begin with. Maybe your relationship ended in a breakup or divorce, or you lost your job, or a loved one died. Whatever crisis showed up to screw with you, it brought everything else crashing down, and suddenly life became confusing, disorienting, out of control. A total shit show. You. Need. Help. Therein lies the problem: Traditional self-help guides just aren't for you. You're an individualist, an iconoclast, a follow-your-own-drumbeat kind of person. The typical sunshine-and-rainbows, "live your best life!" books in the "personal growth" aisle aren't going to speak to your worldview -- you need an embrace-your-weirdness vision for growth and rebuilding. Enter Ariel Meadow Stallings, who has experienced a few life catastrophes of her own and emerged from them with newfound clarity and strength. In From Sh!tshow to Afterglow, she offers a lifeline of support and outside-the-box thinking for times of crisis and confusion, sharing plenty of tactical tips for getting your shit together. Along the way, she never lets readers forget that sometimes a life has to be taken apart before it can be put back together better than ever. Without sugar-coating how deeply it sucks to have your world shattered, From Sh!tshow to Afterglow gives readers a reassuring plan to for putting the pieces back together and emerging stronger than ever.
Categories: Self-Help

Five True Things

Five True Things

-SHAKESPEARE , OTHELLO Givens of Adult Relating In a previous book , How to Be an Adult in Relationships , I explored the hallmarks of mature , lasting love . When we accept the fact that people are not loving or loyal all the time ...

Author: David Richo

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

ISBN: 9781611806670

Category: Psychology

Page: 128

View: 249

Bestselling author David Richo gets straight to the heart of how to find courage and contentment when life doesn’t go according to plan. Rather than fighting against them, we all must accept these five true things: (1) everything changes and ends, (2) things do not always go according to plan, (3) life is not always fair, (4) pain is part of life, and (5) people are not loving and loyal all the time. Drawing on both psychology and spirituality, Richo offers time-tested insights on finding meaning and joy in life as it really is and relationships as they are. Five True Things distills the essential wisdom of Richo’s popular book The Five Things We Cannot Change. By changing our approach to our struggles, we can find deep happiness.
Categories: Psychology

Lovescapes Mapping the Geography of Love

Lovescapes  Mapping the Geography of Love

Richo, David, How To Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving. Boston: Shambhala, 2002. 5. Sternberg, Robert J., Love Is a Story: A New Theory of Relationships. New York: Oxford University Press, 1998. 6.

Author: Duncan S. Ferguson

Publisher: Wipf and Stock Publishers

ISBN: 9781621895114

Category: Religion

Page: 308

View: 680

Lovescapes introduces the reader to the various meanings and manifestations of love and its many cognates such as compassion, caring, altruism, empathy, and forgiveness. It addresses how love and compassion have been understood in history and the religions of the world. It goes on to explore the ways that our environments and heredity influence our capacity to love and suggests ways to cultivate love and compassion in one's life. The book shows how the values of love and compassion are integral to finding humane solutions to the daunting problems we face as individuals, as a human family, and as an earth community--a world in crisis. Lovescapes has the following features: -Describing how love is the essence of the divine, and therefore the ground of reality -Understanding the meaning of love and its place in our lives -Learning how love and compassion have been understood across history, culture, and tradition -Gaining insight about how to increase our capacity to love and show compassion -Discerning how love and compassion can be applied in all aspects of our lives, in the regions where we live, and in our global setting.
Categories: Religion

The Invisible Presence

The Invisible Presence

How a Man's Relationship with His Mother Affects All His Relationships with Women Michael Gurian ... —DAVID RICHO, author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships "Sensitive, thoughtful, readable, and practical. Michael Gurian's work has ...

Author: Michael Gurian

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

ISBN: 0834822466

Category: Psychology

Page: 312

View: 923

Whether he’s conscious of it or not, a man’s mother is the model for just about every relationship with a woman he has for the rest of his life. Sometimes it’s obvious (just ask his wife or girlfriend), sometimes it’s more subtle, but when you see it, it becomes crystal clear. For fifteen years, this book has helped men understand their mothers’ pervasive influence over the way they relate to women—both the positive and negative aspects of it. But more than that, it has helped thousands of men break free of old relationship patterns. Gurian gives men a wealth of practical exercises and meditations they can use to recognize their mothers’ influence in relationships, and to establish a healthy and rewarding new basis for relationships that will benefit themselves and the women in their lives as well. This new edition of the book formerly titled Mothers, Sons, and Lovers includes a new preface and study questions by the author.
Categories: Psychology

Adult Sibling Relationships

Adult Sibling Relationships

For those who do not find their adult sibling relationships satisfying, the research suggests that efforts to form a more positive relationship with adult siblings lead to greater well-being; that is, getting along with one's siblings ...

Author: Geoffrey L. Greif

Publisher: Columbia University Press

ISBN: 9780231540803

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 320

View: 395

The bond siblings develop in childhood may be vastly different from the relationship that evolves in adulthood. Driven by affection but also characterized by ambivalence and ambiguity, adult sibling relationships can become hurtful, uncertain, competitive, or exhausting though the undercurrents of love and loyalty remain. An approach that recognizes the positive aspects of the changing sibling relationship, as well as those that need improvement, can restore healthy ties and rebuild family closeness. With in-depth case studies of more than 260 siblings over the age of forty and interviews with experts on mental health and family interaction, this book offers vital direction for traversing the emotional terrain of adult sibling relations. It pursues a richer understanding of ambivalence, a normal though little explored feeling among siblings, and how ambiguity about the past or present can lead to miscommunication and estrangement. For both professionals and general readers, this book clarifies the most confounding elements of sibling relationships and provides specific suggestions for realizing new, productive avenues of friendship in middle and later life—skills that are particularly important for siblings who must cooperate to care for aging parents or give immediate emotional or financial support to other siblings or family members.
Categories: Family & Relationships