Holy Crap I Married a Farmer

Holy Crap  I Married a Farmer

Inside this book you'll find answers to questions we women on the farm always wondered about but had no one to ask. The stories are filled with insights and real-life reasons to laugh.

Author: Jolene Brown

Publisher:

ISBN: 1945330511

Category: Humor

Page: 128

View: 313

Holy Crap! I Married a Farmer! delivers eye-opening moments, treasured memories, and just plain laughter. In these entertaining chapters, you'll discover that juggling farm life with a smile can save your sanity--and your marriage. Who better than Sisters in Agriculture to share experiences about breakdowns and parts runs, family in-laws and farm priorities, money and communication. Their caring hearts, enduring spirits, and witty wisdom will get you through the toughest days on the farm. Inside this book you'll find answers to questions we women on the farm always wondered about but had no one to ask. The stories are filled with insights and real-life reasons to laugh. As one reader shared, "Being married to a farmer is like riding a roller coaster in an amusement park. There will be peaks of joy and celebration...and valleys of stress and frustration. But in Holy Crap! I Married a Farmer! Jolene reminds me that I can enjoy the ride!"
Categories: Humor

American Farmer

American Farmer

Holy shit, Harlow—that dress. ... “When exactly are we getting married? ... Our families are coming in the day before, and we're getting married here on ...

Author: Jennifer Ann

Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform

ISBN:

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 250

View: 484

While he’s carrying on his father's legacy, she’s training to protect her country. Despite coming from different backgrounds, fate always finds a way to bring them back together. There’s no denying Hunter Kendall’s intense attraction to Harlow Stephens. She’s perfect in every way imaginable, and she wants him just as badly. But she’d have to give up her dream if they were to be together, and Hunter refuses to be that selfish. The notion of finding an ideal man died in Harlow’s mind when Hunter made it clear he didn’t want to be with her, yet the stars always seem to align to bring them back together. While living two completely different lifestyles, will they ever find a good time to stop fighting their feelings in order to start following their hearts?
Categories: Family & Relationships

Super Cultivating Farmer

Super Cultivating Farmer

"Ai, junior brother, I heard that this Four-legged snake wants to marry Soong Qingluan? ... Holy shit, are these Demon Beast not normal?

Author: Hai DanWang

Publisher: Funstory

ISBN: 9781636667027

Category: Fiction

Page:

View: 745

Bai Xiaobei returned to the village after graduation, and accidentally obtained a miraculous jade ring with his father, obtaining the ancient inheritance. To reclaim a barren mountain, one would have the Great Earth Vein Technique, and one would have three thousand mu of fertile land; to plant spirit fields, one would have a small spirit rain formula, and the drizzle was very magical; to raise livestock, one would have a spirit sense to communicate with beasts, immortal beasts and divine beasts to run all over the mountain ... From then on, Bai Xiaobei's life turned against his own, and he lived happily ever after.
Categories: Fiction

Peerless Little Magic Farmer

Peerless Little Magic Farmer

All the married women had been registered, and not a single one could escape. The harshest part was that ... "Holy shit!" So Suqin impersonated her and went ...

Author: Duan Zui

Publisher: Funstory

ISBN: 9781636662268

Category: Fiction

Page:

View: 647

My brother not only locked us in the bedroom, but also cheered outside the door.
Categories: Fiction

Mail Order Farmer

Mail Order Farmer

Profile pictures ranged from sweet and innocent to holy shit—boobs. ... How does someone say, I'm going to marry someone from Russia.

Author: Marie Johnston

Publisher: LE Publishing

ISBN:

Category: Fiction

Page: 276

View: 931

Destined to be a bachelor… As Aaron Walker watched his cousins settle down, he expected to meet that special someone, get married, and maybe even start a family. But women tend to run once the “I live with my parents” revelation comes out. Technically, his parents and brothers live with him, but no one seems to be interested in the finer details. The answer? Online dating. After her dad’s death and the loss of his income, Dalisay Cortez dropped out of nursing school. She and her mother live in Manila, struggling to make ends meet, one unexpected bill away from being forced to move in with overbearing relatives. Goodbye city life, and goodbye personal space. To save them both from an isolated life on the family farm, Dalisay logs onto an international dating site. Falling in love online is one thing, but leaving everything she knows—including her mom—is harder than Dalisay imagined. What happens when Aaron’s idyllic farm life is just like the one she was running from? Mail Order Farmer is a contemporary western mail order bride romance story where two lonely souls find each other from across the world. Can they meet in the middle?
Categories: Fiction

It Isn t Murder If They re Yankees

It Isn t Murder If They re Yankees

Holy shit , ” whispered Carolyn . ... Ryan's a “ gentleman farmer , ” never got married , still hangs out with the one or two women his age that never got ...

Author: Jerry Stratton

Publisher: PageFree Publishing, Inc.

ISBN: 1930252714

Category: Fiction

Page: 400

View: 940

It is easy to be a terrorist in America. Everything you need is in your local supermarket. Forget dynamite or gunpowder. Forget guns. Americans keep the most technologically advanced toys of any country in the world. The most deadly killers in the world this side of water, and all it takes is a spark. A few wires, a battery (usually provided) and you're set. The Quiet Man's foray into terrorism required more than a few wires. He required a targeted approach. Cruise missiles up the tailpipe. A couple of transistors and switches. The car alarm comes on, the device is armed. The car alarm switches off...five...four...three...two... And that's that. Ten cars. Ten devices. There were the usual calls for rounding up all Arabs and 'detaining' them for 'questioning.' Long-term questioning behind barbed wire. Don't panic, said the police. Hell, let 'em panic, said everyone else. Maybe they'll turn their damn alarms off. They did. Sunday morning the Quiet Man slept in peace. But not because it was quiet. The lack of car alarms didn't stop the bottles and the screams. He slept because he'd done something. The Quiet Man slept and dreamt of power.
Categories: Fiction

Forever a Maverick

Forever a Maverick

Holy crap, she was marrying this man. ... She'd be asleep tonight in her bed, and he'd be down the hall in his bed, all muscly and farmer-like.

Author: Genevieve Turner

Publisher: Penny Bright Publishing, LLC

ISBN:

Category: Fiction

Page: 300

View: 105

Categories: Fiction

Always a Cowboy The Complete Series

Always a Cowboy  The Complete Series

Holy crap, she was marrying this man. ... She'd be asleep tonight in her bed, and he'd be down the hall in his bed, all muscly and farmer-like.

Author: Genevieve Turner

Publisher: Penny Bright Publishing, LLC

ISBN:

Category: Fiction

Page: 1000

View: 832

The entire sizzling cowboy romance series in one complete set! Forever a Soldier (Book One) A deeply wounded soldier, a determined scholar searching for a legend, and two hearts ready to break… or to heal. Forever a Maverick (Book Two) A parched farmer, a single mom in need of hope, and a convenient marriage that might become more. Forever a Heartbreaker (Book Three) A famous cowboy searching for more from his hectic life, a no-nonsense woman entranced by a man she couldn’t dream of, and a secret crush that threatens very real feelings. Forever a Bad Boy (Book Four) A bad boy in need of a good woman, a good woman in need of a hero, and two restless hearts in need of forever. cowboy romance series boxed set small town marriage convenience surly grumpy alpha hero
Categories: Fiction

Fire and Love

Fire and Love

I was going to marry their son. Yeah...dowries in the 21st century. Who knew?” she said sarcastically. “Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit,” Levi murmured.

Author: Erin Wright

Publisher: Wright Hot Sexy Cowboys

ISBN:

Category: Fiction

Page: 444

View: 776

A sexy firefighter cowboy series by a USA Today Bestselling small-town romance author... Tennessee Rowland is a perfect 10. A beauty queen. But she's hiding secrets. Levi has wanted Tenny for a long time – practically all his life. Too bad she's a few thousand miles out of his league. After all, she comes from a different world. She’s the favorite daughter of the wealthiest man in town. She’s the opposite of everything he is and everything he’s ever known. He’s never had money. He’s no one’s favorite. When he was just a kid, his mother ran off, leaving him with his father – a mean, bitter drunk with a vicious back-hand. A guy like Levi should forget about the high-class blonde with the sassy smile. But Tenny has a secret. And that secret changes everything. Levi Scranton’s the strong and silent type, but he’s got trouble written all over him. Tenny knows she should stay far away from Levi. His father is trash. His mother skipped town years ago. But Levi is all Tenny can think about. She’s always been the golden child, always done exactly what was expected. But the tall, quiet man with the warm, sultry gaze makes her feel safe for the first time in her life. Everyone says he’s from the wrong side of the tracks. Too bad Levi’s the only man she wants. He might be scarred, and he might come from nothing, but he plays the starring role in her heated dreams. They both have secrets. They both have scars. In one stunning moment, when the past comes storming back, Levi and Tenny will have to choose between love...or betrayal. Fire and Love is the third novel in the Firefighters of Long Valley Romance series, although all books in the Long Valley world can be read as standalones. It has some strong language, and oh my, sexy times. Enjoy! *** KEYWORDS: cowboy love, beauty queen, happily ever after, romance collection, small-town secrets, smokin’ hot firemen, alpha sexy hero, steamy contemporary western romance, family saga, siblings, guaranteed HEA, new beginnings, no cliffhangers, shero
Categories: Fiction

Slang and Euphemism

Slang and Euphemism

Author: Richard A. Spears

Publisher: Jonathan David Pub

ISBN: PSU:000011383123

Category: Language Arts & Disciplines

Page: 448

View: 159

Defines British, American, and Australian words and phrases that have developed as colloquialisms, jargon, dialect, vulgarities, curses, or accepted euphemisms.
Categories: Language Arts & Disciplines

Happy Utopia Day Joe McCarthy

Happy Utopia Day  Joe McCarthy

Are you supposed to be a farmer or a male stripper? ... Married? It feels like Buster Able has detonated. Holy shit—Archie's going to marry Karen.

Author: J.T. Lundy

Publisher: Greenleaf Book Group

ISBN: 9781937110543

Category: Fiction

Page: 328

View: 495

Chris Thompson thought his youthful dreams of being a secret agent had long ago been put to rest. He has a wife and child, a stable job with the US Customs Department, and—aside from a minor incident involving outsourcing American apple pie production to Bangladesh—no real worries. This all changes when Chris receives a phone call from the president of the United States, Oscar I. Wright, regarding a secret invasion of America from Canada and Mexico—an invasion somehow tied to the “Big Mac Party,” a cultish political party that worships the legacy of the notorious Communist-hunting Senator Joseph McCarthy. Soon, Chris is equipped with firearms, designer suits, government helicopters, and an array of gadgets worthy of any top-notch spy. His mission: infiltrate the mysterious “Emergence” program founded by McCarthy within the shadowy halls of the US government—and, ultimately, save democracy as we know it from the xenophobic demons of America’s past. A unique, bubbling combination of Christopher Buckley-esque satire, political farce, and espionage comedy, Happy Utopia Day, Joe McCarthy reveals—through encounters with a hilarious cast of hallucinating politicians, Border Patrol commandants, crew-cut torturers, stuttering computer wizards, supposedly immortal pilots, and more—just how frightening a contemporary abuse of government power can be, and just how much we sometimes stand to lose when we decide to pursue our dreams.
Categories: Fiction

Not Dead Yet

Not Dead Yet

Michael's parents announced he was going to marry the daughter of a rich farmer. My heart broke when I heard the news. ... “Oh shit. ... “Holy shit.

Author: Jenn Burke

Publisher: Carina Press

ISBN: 9781488036231

Category: Fiction

Page:

View: 296

Dying isn’t what it used to be. Wes Cooper was dead. Then he wasn’t—though he’s not exactly alive, either. As an immortal not-ghost, he can transition between this world and the otherplane, which makes him the perfect thief for hire. For seventy years he’s made a “living” returning items to their rightful owners, seeing his fair share of the bizarre in the process. But he’s never witnessed murder. Until now. His latest mission brings him more than he bargained for: a very-dead actor who is definitely going to stay that way. It’s just Wes’s luck that his ex-boyfriend, Detective Hudson Rojas, is assigned to the case. Hudson broke Wes’s heart years ago—and could again, given he’s rocking a hot silver-fox look that shouldn’t be legal. As they work together to track down the murderer before anyone else gets hurt, it becomes clear Wes and Hudson have unfinished business. And when a secret Hudson’s been keeping threatens more than just their happiness, it might mean the end of their not-life together—permanently. This book is approximately 91,000 words
Categories: Fiction

When She s Bad

When She s Bad

“Will you marry me?” Holy shit. ... Delilah smiled at Wilhemina and Douglas McGinley; the unlikely pair of heiress and hog farmer were ...

Author: Leanne Banks

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 9780446548366

Category: Fiction

Page: 320

View: 321

In this humorous yet emotional follow-up to Banks's mainstream title debut, "Some Girls Do," self-made spa owner Delilah Montague's life is about to be changed forever by a handsome next-door neighbor who's not what he seems. Original.
Categories: Fiction

The Boys of Chattahoochee Sons of the Greatest Generation

The Boys of Chattahoochee  Sons of the Greatest Generation

Ayers reported that a farmer had come in to report the VC had hit him up for ... Holy crap, we're out here with a dozen guys and Chuck could be walking on ...

Author: Darrell S. Mudd

Publisher: America Star Books

ISBN: 9781683945987

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 370

View: 199

The Boys of Chattahoochee: Sons of the Greatest Generation are memories recalled through-the-eyes of Cold War era military veterans. Tested up to and including the extremes of combat leadership in Vietnam, they were taught by one of the finest organizations in the world; the U.S. Army Infantry Officer Candidate School, OCS, at Fort Benning, Georgia. Eleven contributors placed their fingerprints upon these pages. From all parts of the USA they came together as classmates for a period of time that 50 years later continues to arouse the most deeply felt of feelings. What some might describe as typical sons of the Greatest Generation, you the readers will turn the pages to stories much more than expected as told by this assembly of young American boys turned into leaders of men.
Categories: Biography & Autobiography

Axel

Axel

He'd also recently married Princess Elen and—holy shit, was that Prince ... “We're so far from Hiskale, from civilization, with just farmers and a few ...

Author: Kat Mizera

Publisher: Kat Mizera

ISBN:

Category: Fiction

Page:

View: 633

As a Royal Protector, I can’t resist a damsel in distress... Being an official bodyguard to the royal family of Limaj, isn’t just my job, it’s who I am. With lives depending on me, love isn’t on my duty roster. Until I’m called in to protect a civilian. Smart, sexy and way too naïve for her own good... Solange is making me want things I shouldn’t. When we’re together, I’m consumed. And now that I have her, there’s no going back. Getting lost in her blue eyes could lead me down a dangerous path... but I’m prepared to protect what’s mine. With a new enemy in Limaj and traitor among us... both our lives are at stake. The problem is my loyalty. I’ve sworn an oath to defend the royal family at all costs. What if the cost is her?
Categories: Fiction

The Oxford Handbook of Taboo Words and Language

The Oxford Handbook of Taboo Words and Language

1062); Marie was later remodelled to Marry as in Marry forbid! and Marry come up! ... probably, Holy cow! and the double dysphemisms Holy shit! Holyfuck!

Author: Keith Allan

Publisher: Oxford Handbooks

ISBN: 9780198808190

Category: Language Arts & Disciplines

Page: 480

View: 316

This volume brings together experts from a wide range of disciplines to define and describe tabooed words and language and to investigate the reasons and beliefs behind them. In general, taboo is defined as a proscription of behaviour for a specific community, time, and context. In terms of language, taboo applies to instances of language behaviour: the use of certain words in certain contexts. The existence of linguistic taboos and their management lead to the censoring of behaviour and, as a consequence, to language change and development. Chapters in this volume explore the multiple types of tabooed language from a variety of perspectives, such as sociolinguistics, anthropology, philosophy, psychology, historical linguistics, and neurolinguistics, and with reference to fields such as law, publishing, politics, and advertising. Topics covered include impoliteness, swearing, censorship, taboo in deaf communities, translation of tabooed words, and the use of taboo in banter and comedy.
Categories: Language Arts & Disciplines

Spring Forward

Spring Forward

Holy shit. I haven't had a chew in two years. ... Farming wasn't for them. They're married. Have jobs and children. No extra bedrooms. If I get kicked out, ...

Author: Catherine Anderson

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 9780399586354

Category: Fiction

Page: 448

View: 579

The New York Times bestselling author returns to Mystic Creek, Oregon, with a story about finding an unforgettable love just around the corner. . . . When a favorite customer on his delivery route needs a favor, Tanner Richards agrees to help without a second thought. The last thing he expects is to face off against the man’s spitfire granddaughter. Crystal Malloy is near her breaking point. Her beloved grandfather constantly skirts the rules at the retirement center where he’s recovering from surgery. She’s caring for his escape artist dog, even if it means abandoning her salon customers, and she has no time for a romantic attraction to the handsome new stranger. After Tanner’s reassigned to Mystic Creek, Crystal can no longer ignore how much she misjudged the man’s good intentions. She has known too much sorrow to easily open her heart, but she can’t deny that Tanner and his children could gift her with a happiness beyond compare—if only she can forgive herself for the past and accept that she’s deserving of such a love.
Categories: Fiction

This Is No Time to Quit Drinking

This Is No Time to Quit Drinking

Holy shit! Though that does explain a few ... Yes, I'll marry you and we'll bring your father here—we need a real farmer here—and we'll all live together.

Author: Stephen O'Connor

Publisher: Gatekeeper Press

ISBN: 9781642379679

Category: Fiction

Page: 288

View: 110

Ah, the unfortunate Bartley Hannigan. Teacher burnout is just one of his problems. There’s also his disintegrating marriage, the inheritance of a haunted property with its uninvited bibulous guest, a psycho poet with a fatal attraction, the arrival of an Irish banshee hunter with poor personal hygiene, his sudden passion for a stripper, and eventually, the hit man on his trail. But as the gypsy said, this “shit-storm” will lead to either a higher plane of understanding—or sudden death. Either way, Bartley can hear his train a comin', and he's ready to jump aboard and ride the winding rails to the last stop, because he's done with the bullshit! Done!
Categories: Fiction

Hot Cowboy Nights

Hot Cowboy Nights

Holy shit! ... What I wanted was for folks to see me as a preacher's wife, not as someone ... We met at a countywide Future Farmers of America conference.

Author: Carolyn Brown

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 9781455534920

Category: Fiction

Page: 384

View: 882

"If you like cowboy romances, you can never go wrong with a Carolyn Brown book." -Romancing the Book Blog If gossip is the lifeblood of a small town, then Lizzy Logan has been its beating heart. After being dumped by her fiance for another woman, she could have decided to crawl under a rock. But no, she'd rather really set tongues wagging by "moving on" with one of the hottest cowboys in Texas, who happens to live next door at the Lucky Penny Ranch. Those busybodies don't have to know it's actually all pretend. And just because Lizzy has no aim to tame her wild, blue-eyed neighbor doesn't mean she can't enjoy the ride of her life. Toby Dawson never was and never will be the settling-down type. But what harm could there be in agreeing to be Lizzy's pretend boyfriend? They'll put on a show for a few weeks and be done. Yet the more he gets to know Lizzy-really know her-the harder it is for him to keep his hands off of her in private. Soon this rough-and-ready cowboy is hoping to heal Lizzy's bruised heart and turn their fake affair into a true romance . . .
Categories: Fiction

Luke s Dream

Luke s Dream

"Yeah, too bad it's so tough for the family farmers to make it these days." Emily shook her head slightly. ... "Holy crap, is there anything you don't read?

Author: Brian Daniels

Publisher: Dog Ear Publishing

ISBN: 9781608448180

Category: Fiction

Page: 264

View: 722

Luke Coffin is a hardworking, easy going, Maine lobsterman who asks little more from life than to earn his living on the ocean aboard his boat, Luke's Dream, and on Friday nights, to drink a few beers with his comical buddy, "Munsey" Munson. Luke's life changes when, in the early 1980s, he meets and falls deeply for Emily Goodwin, a student at prestigious Bowdoin College, whose laughter fills his heart and whose tragic death shatters his world. Luke, overwhelmed by his loss and hell-bent on justice, plots to commit the perfect crime . . . to avenge Emily's murder. Brian Daniels writes with compelling intensity of the bittersweet complexities of human emotion that accompany life, love and loss. With its eclectic and fascinating cast of classic Maine characters, Luke's Dream is, at once, a story of tender romance and a riveting suspense thriller. Brian Daniels is an avid outdoorsman, a lover of nature, a newspaper columnist, musician and songwriter. His humorous column, Thoughts of an Average Joe by Joe Wright, is featured in newspapers throughout northern New England. Many of his songs, including four title tracks, have been recorded by eight different artists. Since 1984, he has practiced optometry in Brunswick, Maine, where he lives with his wife, Laurene. Inspired by the diverse and fascinating parade of personalities that pass through his office and the musicians with whom he has worked over the years, he has drawn on their characters and their stories to write his first novel, Luke's Dream.
Categories: Fiction