Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits

Author: David Wong

Publisher: Titan Books

ISBN: 1783291850

Category: Fiction

Page: 496

View: 3987

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In a prosperous yet gruesomely violent near-future, superhero vigilantes battle thugs whose heads are full of supervillain fantasies. The peace is kept by a team of smooth, well-dressed negotiators called The Men in Fancy Suits. College grad Zoey discovers her scumbag dad was one of the founding members of the Fancy Suits, and quickly becomes entangled in the city's surreal mob war when she is taken hostage by a particularly crazy villain.
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This Book Is Full of Spiders

Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It

Author: David Wong

Publisher: Macmillan

ISBN: 1250017904

Category: Fiction

Page: 416

View: 2104

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From the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes. WARNING: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection -- the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You can't see it, because it decides what you see. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed. So what happens when your family, friends and neighbors get mind-controlling skull spiders? We're all about to find out. Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.
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Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

A Novel

Author: David Wong

Publisher: St. Martin's Press

ISBN: 9781250195791

Category: Fiction

Page: 336

View: 1558

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The latest—and greatest—sci-fi thriler in the Zoey Ashe Series. Nightmarish villains with superhuman enhancements. An all-seeing social network that tracks your every move. Mysterious, smooth-talking power players who lurk behind the scenes. A young woman suddenly in charge of the most decadent city in the world. And her very smelly cat. Zoey Ashe is like a fish so far out of water that it has achieved orbit. She finds herself struggling to establish rule over a sprawling empire while Tabula Ra$a's rogue's gallery of larger-than-life crime bosses and corrupt plutocrats smell weakness. Tensions brew across the city. A steamer trunk-sized box arrives at Zoey's door, and she and her bodyguard Wu are shocked to find that it contains a disemboweled corpse, and even more shocked when that corpse, controlled by an unknown party, rises from the box and goes on a rampage through the house. After being subdued, it speaks in an electronic voice, accusing Zoey of being its murderer. Soon, it makes the same claim to the public at large, along with the promise of a cash reward for proof that Zoey and the Suits are behind the crime. Now Zoey is having doubts of her own: Is she 100% sure that someone on her team didn't do this? She also doesn't even have a complete list of what businesses she owns, or what exact laws her organization is still breaking. So what does she really know?
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John Dies at the End

Author: David Wong

Publisher: Macmillan

ISBN: 142995678X

Category: Fiction

Page: 384

View: 6232

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"David Wong has updated the Lovecraft tradition and infused it with humor that rather than lessening the horror, increases it dramatically. Every time I set the book down down, I was wary that something really was afoot, that there were creatures I couldn't see, and that because I suspected this, I was next. Engaging, comic, and terrifying." -- Joe Garden, Features Editor, The Onion "Wong is like a mash-up of Douglass Adams and Stephen King... 'page-turner' is an understatement." --Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm I-V, Bubba Ho-tep "That rarest of things--a genuinely scary story."--David Wellington, author of Monster Island, Vampire Zero "JOHN DIES AT THE END has a cult following for a reason: it's horrific, thought-provoking, and hilarious all at once. This is one of the most entertaining and addictive novels I've ever read."--Jacob Kier, Publisher, Permuted Press STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me. The important thing is this: The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.
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What the Hell Did I Just Read

A Novel of Cosmic Horror

Author: David Wong

Publisher: St. Martin's Press

ISBN: 1466835443

Category: Fiction

Page: 384

View: 1217

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It's the story "They" don't want you to read. Though, to be fair, "They" are probably right about this one. To quote the Bible, "Learning the truth can be like loosening a necktie, only to realize it was the only thing keeping your head attached." No, don't put the book back on the shelf -- it is now your duty to purchase it to prevent others from reading it. Yes, it works with e-books, too, I don't have time to explain how. While investigating a fairly straightforward case of a shape-shifting interdimensional child predator, Dave, John and Amy realized there might actually be something weird going on. Together, they navigate a diabolically convoluted maze of illusions, lies, and their own incompetence in an attempt to uncover a terrible truth they -- like you -- would be better off not knowing. Your first impulse will be to think that a story this gruesome -- and, to be frank, stupid -- cannot possibly be true. That is precisely the reaction "They" are hoping for. John Dies at the End's "smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next" (Publishers Weekly) and This Book is Full of Spiders was "unlike any other book of the genre" (Washington Post). Now, New York Times bestselling author David Wong is back with What the Hell Did I Just Read, the third installment of this black-humored thriller series.
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Meddling Kids

Author: Edgar Cantero

Publisher: Titan Books

ISBN: 1785658778

Category: Fiction

Page: 464

View: 4821

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A nostalgic and subversive trip rife with sly nods to H. P. Lovecraft and pop culture, in the vein of It and Stranger Things A nostalgic celebration of horror, friendship and many-tentacled, interdimensional demon spawn. In 1977 the Blyton Summer Detective Club unmasked the elusive Sleepy Lake monster—another low-life fortune hunter who would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids. By 1990 the former detectives are haunted by strange, half-remembered events that cannot be explained by a guy in a mask. Andy, the once-intrepid tomboy now wanted in two states, wants answers. To find them she will need Kerri, the former kid genius now drinking her ghosts away in New York with Tim, an excitable Weimaraner descended from the original canine member of the club. They will also have to get Nate, the horror nerd currently residing in an asylum. Luckily Nate has not lost contact with Peter, the handsome jock turned movie star who was once their leader... which is remarkable, considering Peter has been dead for years. The time has come to get the team back together and find out what actually happened all those years ago. It’s their only chance to end the nightmares and, perhaps, save the world.
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The Unnoticeables

Author: Robert Brockway

Publisher: Titan Books

ISBN: 1783297980

Category: Fiction

Page: 288

View: 8033

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In 1970's New York City, all Carey wants is to drink cheap beer and dispense ass-kickings, until kids with unnoticeable faces start abducting his punk friends. In present-day Hollywood, stuntwoman Kaitlyn is trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life when a former teen heartthrob tries to eat her and her best friend goes missing. The survival of the human race is in Carey and Kaitlyn's hands. We are truly screwed.
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