Dumbass Too

Dumbass Too

Attention Trump Supporters! Please take this book and beat yourselves about the head a few time... What are you thinking? This book contains a thousand reasons why Donald Trump cannot be the President...all from his own mouth.

Author: Jules Carlysle

Publisher:

ISBN: 1539439925

Category:

Page: 410

View: 425

Attention Trump Supporters! Please take this book and beat yourselves about the head a few time... What are you thinking? This book contains a thousand reasons why Donald Trump cannot be the President...all from his own mouth. It s a study in major personality disorders. Full of lies, ignorance, contradictions, histrionics, impudence, hubris, misogyny, racisim, and then some really creepy stuff. In 2006, acclaimed political humourist Jules Carlysle published a book of troubling -- and yet somehow still hilarious -- quotes from President GW Bush called DUMBASS. It was a rollicking success in seven countries. For ten years, she has been waiting patiently for the next great bumbling orator to stagger onto the world stage, and along came Donald J. Trump. Thank you Donald....seriously...thank you. Reaching all the way back to the 1970's, this is the biggest, baddest collection of Trumpisms ever compiled. Is the book inflammatory? Sure it is! -- But only because his words are inflammatory. I am but the humble editor and archivist who records the action for entertainment purposes. Donald, if you don't want me to write about it, stop saying stupid things!
Categories:

Too Thick for Girls

Too Thick for Girls

Luckily Trent Chaplain is here to save him, servicing every inch of his pulsating meat and taking it in wherever he can find room!

Author: Trent Chaplain

Publisher:

ISBN: 1521181926

Category:

Page: 39

View: 165

What's a massive bestial jock to do when his girthful size, his dumbass behavior and his overwhelming machismo make him too thick for girls? This enormous manhood comes from a buff stud named Andy -- he's a lovable idiot, a ditz and a massive slab of meat too intense for any of the babes he seeks out! Luckily Trent Chaplain is here to save him, servicing every inch of his pulsating meat and taking it in wherever he can find room!
Categories:

Too Stupid to Live

Too Stupid to Live

Sam's One True Love is certainly still out there, but he knows now that real life is nothing like fiction.

Author: Anne Tenino

Publisher:

ISBN: 1937551857

Category: Dating (Social customs)

Page: 278

View: 605

Sam's One True Love is certainly still out there, but he knows now that real life is nothing like fiction. He's cultivated the necessary fortitude to say "no" to the next Mr. Wrong, no matter how hot, exciting, and/or erotic-novel-worthy he may be. Until he meets Ian.
Categories: Dating (Social customs)

Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives

Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives

Internationally syndicated radio superhost and columnist, controversial psycho-therapist, and author of the break-out New York Times bestsellers How Could You Do That?! and Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Dr. Laura ...

Author: Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 9780061841392

Category: Self-Help

Page: 320

View: 678

For every woman who wants to know what her man is thinking. Internationally syndicated radio superhost and columnist, controversial psycho-therapist, and author of the break-out New York Times bestsellers How Could You Do That?! and Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Dr. Laura Schlessinger is back with Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives. In ten vital, compelling chapters, Dr. Laura speaks her mind on: Stupid Chivalry By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save/transform her. Stupid Independence Unwilling to admit "need" for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excesses of work, play, drink, drugs, porn, and meaningless sex. Stupid Ambition Unable to comfortably and proudly accept your inherent importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to the false idols of money, toys, power, and status. Stupid Strength Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vulnerable, useless, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive-aggressiveness to regain control. Stupid Sex Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a "sign," you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms. Stupid Matrimony Lacking a mature sense of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late you've gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to "fix it." Stupid Husbanding Thinking that marriage is the honorable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as though you were single and your "mommy-wife" will take care of everything else. Stupid Parenting Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the true "soul food" of a child's hug. Stupid Boyishness Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy. Stupid Machismo Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.
Categories: Self-Help

Too Stupid to Quit

Too Stupid to Quit

Many of my experiences in the Marine Corps and in Vietnam are reviewed in the book as to lessons learned and how these were ultimately modified to fit a business environment. These stories and comparisons are unique.

Author: Richard D. Jackson

Publisher: AuthorHouse

ISBN: 9781418429263

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 258

View: 503

At thirty-nine, Terri Carter returns home to her small, southern hometown alone and heart-broken after her ten-year relationship has failed. She would never again be able to give her heart after this one ended in such devastation. She had always been the one to end the relationship when things didn't work out, but she never saw this one coming. In her mind, she thought this one would last forever. After weeks of painful soul searching, she begins her road to recovery by finding the inner strength to set her spirit free. As her emotional journey begins to unfold, she renews her enduring desire to have a child and finds an Obstetrician who can make her dream a reality. Dr. Aubrey Shannon, from Boston, moved her practice to this southern town a few years ago, where she hoped to reunite with a secret, lost love. Through endless months of soul searching, Terri finds more in her emotional journey with Aubrey than she bargained for...a relationship. But this journey will require her to once again open her heart and old wounds. Their separate journeys might just end up changing both their lives forever.
Categories: Business & Economics

Men Are Stupid And They Like Big Boobs

Men Are Stupid       And They Like Big Boobs

Part comic musing, part bitch-fest, and part hands-on advice, this is a bracingly funny, wildly frank, and genuinely passionate argument for a woman's right to do whatever it takes to be beautiful, to feel better about herself, and most of ...

Author: Joan Rivers

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 9781439123683

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 304

View: 152

Red-carpet fashion laureate, comic icon, and outspoken superstar Joan Rivers is uniquely qualified to talk about plastic surgery -- because she's one of the few celebrities unafraid to admit to the world what she's "had done" to keep looking so great. Now, in this no-holds-barred book, she gives women straight-talking advice on better living through looking better. Joan Rivers' abiding life philosophy is simple: in the appearance-centric society of the twenty-first century, beauty is key -- especially where men are concerned. Men like pretty women. And so, getting something lifted, tightened, adjusted, or removed is as fundamental as wearing makeup or using hair conditioner; it's become something we do to make ourselves look better. Now, for any woman considering her options, Joan Rivers takes the mystery out of cosmetic surgery with a practical overview, aided and informed by the country's top plastic surgeons, of almost every single cosmetic procedure legally performed in America today. She takes readers step-by-step through these entire processes, from fi nding the right doctor to the bruising truth about recovery and the facts about cosmetic surgery's very real risks. But don't worry -- there's dish, too. Filled with Rivers' personal anecdotes about life under the knife, Men Are Stupid...And They Like Big Boobs is also rife with Hollywood gossip about who's done what and how often. Part comic musing, part bitch-fest, and part hands-on advice, this is a bracingly funny, wildly frank, and genuinely passionate argument for a woman's right to do whatever it takes to be beautiful, to feel better about herself, and most of all to be happy -- not only with who she is, but who she wants to be. Throughout the book, Joan Rivers is right there, guiding and encouraging with no apologies, no excuses, and absolutely no shame. Take it from the woman who enjoys having it all -- done.
Categories: Biography & Autobiography

Witch Hunt

Witch Hunt

And I wrote that down, too. It feltimportant to make note of whatwas good about her,the things that hadmarked her as ... It wasn't hard toguess you'd come here looking for answers.” “And yet you came alone.” “Guess I'm a dumbass too.”

Author: SM Reine

Publisher: SM Reine

ISBN: 9781494879198

Category: Fiction

Page: 200

View: 848

A brutal murder. There are scratches on Cèsar Hawke’s arms, a discharged Glock on his coffee table, and a dead woman in his bathtub. Yeah, maybe he brought the waitress home for some fun — he was too drunk to remember it — but he knows for a fact that he didn’t kill her. He’s an agent with the Office of Preternatural Affairs. He doesn’t hurt people. He saves them. The cops disagree. Now Cèsar is running. The search for a shaman. Isobel Stonecrow speaks with the dead…for the right price. She brings closure to the bereaved and heals broken hearts. But when she resurrects someone for the wrong client, she ends up on the OPA’s most wanted list. One risky solution. Tracking down Isobel is the last case assigned to Cèsar before he bolts. If he finds her, he can prove that he didn’t kill that waitress. He can clear his name, get his job back, and bring justice to the victim. She’s just one witch. Cèsar has bagged a dozen witches before. How hard can one more be? keywords: urban fantasy, supernatural thriller, supernatural mystery, paranormal, urban fantasy, werewolf, shapeshifter, angels, demons, science fiction, free urban fantasy novel, free books, free paranormal, exorcist, urban fantasy series
Categories: Fiction

This Book Is for You Stupid

This Book Is for You Stupid

This book will show you how to completely F*$K up your sales career. Hopefully this book will put a few smiles on your face while sharing real life examples of epic sales failures as well as solid practices for how to 'Stop the Stupid'.

Author: Mathew Koenig

Publisher: CreateSpace

ISBN: 1482090295

Category:

Page: 44

View: 312

If you're looking for a grammatically well-written book by someone with an MBA that will put you to sleep; this is the wrong book for you. However, if you're looking for a book written by someone who has spent 20 years in the trenches of sales, succeeding AND failing over and over so that you can learn from their efforts and improve your career....READ THIS BOOK! The late, great, Zig Ziglar once said: "You can get anything you want in life if you are just willing to help enough other people get what they want." Those words have been a constant inspiration in my sales career so I want to help you get what you want. That said, I believe that everyone who gets into sales really wants to be successful but most of them, like me, start out with little or no direction, knowledge or training on how to reach that goal of success. This means that we start out "stupid" in our sales career. When we don't know what we're doing, we look for advice from our peers but unfortunately they have little more training than we do, they've just got the experience of 'time served' so technically, they're "stupid" too. I'm not saying it to be mean because it's not totally their fault, their manager was probably "stupid" too and his manager probably was too. In sales, too many of us have learned from those who did their best but really didn't have the knowledge, talent, or ability- to give us what we needed to be successful so the stupid cycle just keeps going. This book will show you how to completely F*$K up your sales career. Hopefully this book will put a few smiles on your face while sharing real life examples of epic sales failures as well as solid practices for how to 'Stop the Stupid'."
Categories:

Mischief at Sea

Mischief at Sea

She was a clever girl - used the word dumbass too much, but was still good to have at your side, in case of trouble. As Daniel stood in contemplation, he realised the ship was rocking a lot more than usual. To maintain his balance, ...

Author: Eoin Glynn

Publisher: AuthorHouse

ISBN: 1467898465

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 232

View: 975

This story is about two siblings, Daniel and Holly Nugent, who are taken on a family holiday aboard a Cruise ship. They soon discover that two bullies from Daniels school, Arty The Artichoke Nevin and his beefy brother Billy Nostrils, are also onboard. They then discover a further group of boys on the ship known as the South Side Locos who make Arty and Billy appear tame by comparison, and conspire to set the two groups against each other, thus distracting the bullies from harming them. The Nevin brothers finally become allied with Daniel and Holly to defeat the South Side Locos. This is an adventure story for children aged 8 12 years that addresses the issue of bullying and how to deal with it. The children discover that teamwork, courage, and the need to befriend the enemy can often work wonders.
Categories: Juvenile Fiction

We re Overrun By Idiots and Too Stupid To Care

We re Overrun By Idiots  and Too Stupid To Care

Successful business owner, musician, and writer Matthew "Axl" Brammer finally embarks on a long, humor-laden rant about everything....life, jobs, business, politics, social media and more...all together finally in one book.

Author: Matthew Brammer

Publisher: Booktango

ISBN: 9781468945409

Category: Social Science

Page:

View: 849

Successful business owner, musician, and writer Matthew "Axl" Brammer finally embarks on a long, humor-laden rant about everything....life, jobs, business, politics, social media and more...all together finally in one book. Not for the faint of heart (or easily offended), this blunt commentary goes in depth with personal experiences and examples of how not to live your life...and why we're overrun by idiots (and too stupid to care).
Categories: Social Science

Running Around in Circles

Running Around in Circles

Maybe he had a little too much to drink. Natasha splashed some water ... Within a splitsecond came my reply “Look, I'm tired too and I think my friend's in no position to drive back alone. ... “Not just that, you are a dumbass too. How gay.

Author: Kunal Chaudhari

Publisher: Diamond Pocket Books Pvt Ltd

ISBN: 9789350837139

Category:

Page: 304

View: 131

Kunal Chaudhari, the author of Running around in Circles, is an engineering major at Amity University. The author pursued his education at the University of Windsor, Ontario, Canada before moving back to India. He takes keen interest in sports, especially cricket having played professionally for over twelve years. More recently, he's been playing college level and university level cricket. Like most first time authors, Kunal drew inspiration from his personal life. This novel is a way for him to explore his own personality, thus his own perspective on the vagaries of everyday life. His insight on life is quite similar to that of most young people. So in a way Kunal's writing reflects the attitude of today's youth in every walk of life. Relating to his work becomes easier as he lives the life that he talks about in his book. The author loves life and lives it to the fullest. Humor is something that comes naturally to him, so inevitably his first novel has fantastic humor. Just at the age of twenty one, for Kunal the world is his oyster.
Categories:

The Hidden Secrets Saga Complete Collection

The Hidden Secrets Saga  Complete Collection

Maybe there's one about the dark dumbass too?" “Dark dumbass?” I laughed, despite the heaviness of the situation we were in. “I don't know where you come up with this stuff Rob. I wish we'd have grown up together.

Author: W.J. May

Publisher: Dark Shadow Publishing

ISBN:

Category: Fiction

Page: 725

View: 942

The Complete Hidden Secrets Saga in one collection! Seventh Mark - Part 1 & Part 2 Beautiful, quiet Rouge is trying to figure out who she is and what she wants to be. With little knowledge about her past, she has questions but has never tried to find the answers. Everything changes when she befriends a strangely intoxicating family. Siblings Grace and Michael, appear to have secrets which seem connected to Rouge. Her hunch is confirmed when a horrible incident occurs at party. Rouge may be the only one who can find the answer. An ancient journal, a Siorghra necklace and a special mark force life-altering decisions for a girl who grew up unprepared to fight for her life or others .All secrets have a cost and Rouge's determination to find the truth can only lead to trouble...or something even more sinister. Marked by Destiny Sometimes the past isn't what you expect it to be. Rouge has survived the last months of school and is starting a new chapter after graduation. She wants answers to the questions about her past and is still hiding secrets from those she loves. Her hope is to find what she needs in Niagara Falls so she can move forward in her relationship with Michael and have a chance to convince his family that she is worthy of him. The ancient Grollic Book reveals another of its secrets, only to Rouge. She desperately wants to find the truth about her past. Nothing could have prepared her for what she's about to learn. Compelled The secrets of her past have been revealed, but Rouge’s life is still shrouded in mystery. The Grollics want her dead, she’s forbidden to be with the boy she loves, and her brother–who is the enemy–may be the only one she can trust. The deeper she digs into the past, the more trouble awaits. Can she find answers in the ancient journal she carries, or is she opening Pandora’s box? Fate's Intervention How do choose between power of passion or the power of peace? After finally coming face to face with her greatest foe, Bentos, Rogue has a decision to make. Joshua, the new grolics alpha has been labeled as her true mate, but her heart belongs to Michael. Rouge joins Joshua with her brother to discover more about who she is and where to gain access to the true power of three.. What she finds growing within her will change everything. Power is queen, but love and new life is King. Chosen Three How do you choose between life, love and the future? You can't. Rob’s missing. Rouge’s passed out. Caleb just told her that Rob’s been taken away to be put down. Oh yeah, and Rouge’s pregnant. Wait, what?! Rouge’s the Seventh Mark, Michael’s a guardian who’s already dead. How can he get her pregnant? The high and mighty Caleb is even more determined now to stop Rouge and the abomination growing in her belly. On the run from Caleb and the Higher Council, on a mission to save Rob, and at the same time trying to stop the dark angel Rouge summoned – the team must figure out what the Power of Three is before Bentos kills them all. However, there’s a catch: if they go after the dark angel and kill it, anyone with angel blood in them will die. If they kill Bentos, there is rumor that all his offspring will die except the next Seventh Mark. When everything looks lost, will there be any chance of hope for the future? Find out in the final installment of the Hidden Secrets Saga, CHOSEN THREE. Search Terms: magic, shifters, werewolves and shifters, romance paranormal werewolves and shifters, vampire series, vampires and witches, alpha, Alpha Bad Boy, bad boy obsession, urban fantasy, suspense, romance, Young Adult, paranormal, mystery, series, w.j. may, paranormal romance, paranormal fantasy, new adult, witches, horror, horror romance, werewolves, werewolf series, werewolf romance, superpowers, supernatural, superhero fantasy ebooks, complete series, sagas, anthologies, collections.
Categories: Fiction

I am Sorry

I am Sorry

May be I said, “Go go you dumbass! Don't return as long as I am sleeping!” But I loved that dumbass too much. I couldn't realize until I... For the first time! That was one of the most memorable days of my life.

Author: MD Nazmul Ahsan

Publisher: BookCountry

ISBN: 9781463007614

Category: Fiction

Page:

View: 843

Our inside! First layer,simple! Second layer,complex! People around the world only care about them. Most of them don't dare or try to think about something else. Is there anything else without them? Yes it is! The complex layer is about depth. We think nothing down there. It's wrong! The deepest and third layer is the simplest! Simple enough to regret,avoid and fear! But i don't regret,avoid or fear! I just want! I wanted to depict them with affection! No fancy talk,no emotion or convincing to enhance selling! I am presenting you a book of 20 short stories. They are neither good nor bad! May be two or three of them are crap! But the others......you can hate them or love them....praise them or scold the.....but the only thing you are not going to do...... is ignore them!............"I am sorry!"
Categories: Fiction

Shakespeare in America An Anthology from the Revolution to Now

Shakespeare in America  An Anthology from the Revolution to Now

Is that what a dumbass looks like when it grows up?” The character, Bottom, was prancing on the stage, wearing an ass's head. ... “But isn't that man a dumbass, too? Don't they look . . .” “Shhh, we'll talk about it later.

Author: Various

Publisher: Library of America

ISBN: 9781598534634

Category: Drama

Page: 688

View: 821

“The history of Shakespeare in America,” writes James Shapiro in his introduction to this groundbreaking anthology, “is also the history of America itself.” Shakespeare was a central, inescapable part of America’s literary inheritance, and a prism through which crucial American issues—revolution, slavery, war, social justice—were refracted and understood. In tracing the many surprising forms this influence took, Shapiro draws on many genres—poetry, fiction, essays, plays, memoirs, songs, speeches, letters, movie reviews, comedy routines—and on a remarkable range of American writers from Emerson, Melville, Lincoln, and Mark Twain to James Agee, John Berryman, Pauline Kael, and Cynthia Ozick. Americans of the revolutionary era ponder the question “to sign or not to sign;” Othello becomes the focal point of debates on race; the Astor Place riots, set off by a production of Macbeth, attest to the violent energies aroused by theatrical controversies; Jane Addams finds in King Lear a metaphor for American struggles between capital and labor. Orson Welles revolutionizes approaches to Shakespeare with his legendary productions of Macbeth and Julius Caesar; American actors from Charlotte Cushman and Ira Aldridge to John Barrymore, Paul Robeson, and Marlon Brando reimagine Shakespeare for each new era. The rich and tangled story of how Americans made Shakespeare their own is a literary and historical revelation. As a special feature, the book includes a foreword by Bill Clinton, among the latest in a long line of American presidents, including John Adams, John Quincy Adams, and Abraham Lincoln, who, as the collection demonstrates, have turned to Shakespeare’s plays for inspiration.
Categories: Drama

Tales From Behind the Counter

Tales From Behind the Counter

People are just that stupid. They will ask where the sports bras are, and it will be a few aisles over since they are too lazy to look for themselves. I guess it's more convenient for them to ask someone versus looking for it themselves ...

Author: Jessica Samuels

Publisher: Jessica Samuels

ISBN:

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 230

View: 598

Angeline has been working at Kyle's General Store for five years. She has seen it all: crazy, stupid and even mean customers torment her on a daily basis. She has worked in over five different departments with stories for each. There is a chapter where she gives advice on how to survive retail, and shares pet peeves for the departments she has worked in. Join her down memory lane as she tells her stories about crazy customers and the stupid questions they ask. Also, if you think the customer is always right then you've never worked at a place like Kyle's before.
Categories: Business & Economics

Crazy Stupid Bromance

Crazy Stupid Bromance

Laugh out loud with tons of heart, this is an absolutely adorable must read' Avery Flynn, USA Today bestselling author 'A delight!...I raced to finish this book, but still never wanted it to end!

Author: Lyssa Kay Adams

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 9781472271686

Category: Fiction

Page: 336

View: 902

The Bromance Book Club was one of Bustle's '21 New Rom-Coms Out In Fall 2019 To Give You Warm And Fuzzy Feelings All Season Long'! If you love Jasmine Guillory, Sally Thorne and Helen Hoang, you'll LOVE Lyssa Kay Adams! What early readers are saying: 'If you're looking for a feel-good contemporary romance then look no further' 'This is becoming my favourite romance series. This third instalment maybe the best one yet' 'I cannot even begin to explain how much I love this series! It was sweet and clever and entertaining and had a lovely mix of comedy and seriousness that kept me reading well into the night. Brilliant!!' 'Crazy Stupid Bromance has all the magic I loved about the original... A cute, wholesome romance with excellent family dynamics and a realistic show of overcoming one's demons to become a better person' Has the Bromance Book Club met its greatest challenge? Alexis Carlisle and her cat café, ToeBeans, shot to fame after she came forward as a victim of a celebrity chef's sexual harassment. When a new customer approaches to confide in her, the last thing Alexis expects is for the woman to claim they're sisters and to make a life-altering request. Unsure what to do, Alexis turns to the only man she trusts - her best friend, Noah Logan. Computer genius Noah left his rebellious teenage hacker past behind to become a security expert, using his old skills only for the right cause. But Noah has a secret: he's madly in love with Alexis and has never found the right moment to confess his crush. Now that Alexis needs him more than ever, luckily The Bromance Book Club are on hand with their trusty 'manuals' to guide this romance-novel-sceptic out of the friend zone and into taking a shot at the best relationship he's ever had... Praise for The Bromance Book Club: 'A you're-gonna-burn-dinner book because you will not want to put it down. Laugh out loud with tons of heart, this is an absolutely adorable must read' Avery Flynn, USA Today bestselling author 'A delight!...I raced to finish this book, but still never wanted it to end!' Alexa Martin, author of Intercepted 'A delightful, fast-paced read with the perfect mix of laugh-out-loud and swoony moments-every town should have a Bromance Book Club' Evie Dunmore, author of Bringing Down the Duke 'It is the reading aloud in this story that ultimately wins my heart, and shows that everything worth knowing can be learned from romance' kc dyer, author of Finding Fraser
Categories: Fiction

Too Stupid to Visit

Too Stupid to Visit

A themed collection of bits from Jass Richards' non-existent stand-up career Includes Too Stupid to Visit, We Should Put a Crocodile in There, Born that Way, Let the Cows Loose, Jass Richards does Europe, and Other Funny Bits __________ ...

Author: Jass Richards

Publisher: XinXii

ISBN: 9781926891903

Category: Humor

Page: 91

View: 989

A themed collection of bits from Jass Richards' non-existent stand-up career Includes Too Stupid to Visit, We Should Put a Crocodile in There, Born that Way, Let the Cows Loose, Jass Richards does Europe, and Other Funny Bits __________ "Your material is fabulous! It reminds me so much of George Carlin. ..." Gemini Rising “Ya made me snort root beer out my nose!” Moriah Jovan, The Proviso “Jass is a comedy genius. ... reminiscent of Monty Python ... ” May Arend, Brazilian Bookworm "... wretchedly funny." C. Mike Rice, Realworldatheism
Categories: Humor

Carter Finally Gets It

Carter Finally Gets It

I respond to her look. “You can hate me all you want, but you shouldn't be walking out here by yourself. You don't even have to talk to me. The rest of these guys in the truck all think I'm a dumbass too!

Author: Brent Crawford

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 9781423140894

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 320

View: 531

Meet Will Carter, but feel free to call him Carter. (Yes, he knows it's a lazy nickname, but he didn't have much say in the matter.) Here are five things you should know about him: 1. He has a stuttering problem, particularly around boobs and belly buttons. 2. He battles Attention Deficit Disorder every minute of every day unless he gets distracted. 3. He's a virgin, mostly because he's no good at talking to girls (see number 1). 4. He's about to start high school. 5. He's totally not ready. Join Carter for his freshman year, where he'll search for sex, love, and acceptance anywhere he can find it. In the process, he'll almost kill a trombone player, face off with his greatest nemesis, suffer a lot of blood loss, narrowly escape death, run from the cops (not once, but twice), get caught up in a messy love triangle, meet his match in the form of a curvy drill teamer, and surprise the hell out of everyone, including himself.
Categories: Juvenile Fiction

2000 Miles to Open Road

2000 Miles to Open Road

"Wait, dumbass," Hanford said, jamming on the brakes so Hal didn't get caught and dragged under the wheels. ... Stupid. Too dumb to stay outta jail. Too dumb to make anything of himself." "Hal, stop it, that's not what I meant, ...

Author: Trey R. Barker

Publisher: Down & Out Books

ISBN:

Category:

Page:

View: 615

With a murder indictment hanging over his head, an angry cop on his tail, and an unknown woman who just dove through his car window during a shootout at the Carson City sewage plant, Halford Turnbull has just one goal … To prove his innocence. Not to the prosecutors, not to the cops. To his brother. But brother Hanford is halfway across the country and between Carson City, Nevada and Huntsville, Texas is a pile of trouble that Hal simply can’t seem to avoid. From stealing $20,000 to buy a DVD of a murder, to a low-rent casino in Vegas where a sadistic security guard is killed and a church filled with self-flagellant priests in Valentine, Texas, where a second shoot-out leaves a riot of bodies, Hal simply can’t catch a break. And during it all, Hal wavers. He wants to prove to his brother-the good brother-that he isn’t a killer. But as situations begin to pile up, Hal thinks less of his brother than his girlfriend and a safe, new life in Mexico. In a drive-in movie parking lot, he and his girlfriend and brother finally are forced to face both Hal’s haunting demons and the man who created the DVD of murder, and who wants his property back. It is a 2000 mile journey that could lead to redemption and could just get him killed, and yet there is no way Hal Turnbull can avoid driving those miles. Praise for 2000 MILES TO OPEN ROAD … “Double-crosses, triple-crosses, a storm of bullets, and one bloody grab at redemption … and Hal Turnbull still has 2000 miles to go. This is a mean, greasy V-8 of a book, and Trey Barker’s at the wheel. Buckle up.” — Sean Doolittle, author of Burn, Dirt, and Rain Dogs “A new voice in the crime fiction world, Trey R. Barker has made himself heard with this book. It’s kind of like Quentin Tarrantino on Methamphetamines. It’s not really a caper, but has some of those elements. It’s really just about a guy trying to get through an ordeal, and hopefully redeem himself a bit in the process. Barker writes with fury and the action in this book propels it at light speed. And yet the anchor here is the characters, human and flawed, but true. Barker has come to kick some ass and chew some bubblegum, and he’s all out of bubblegum.” — Crimespree Magazine, August 2005
Categories: