Dogbert s Top Secret Management Handbook

Dogbert s Top Secret Management Handbook

Are these methods taught in business schools? Do managers learn by watching more experienced managers? Is it the result of mentoring? None of the above! Every manager follows the doctrine set out in Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook.

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher: Boxtree, Limited

ISBN: 075221148X

Category: Business

Page: 176

View: 611

Why do all modern managers do the same bizarre things? Are these methods taught in business schools? Do managers learn by watching more experienced managers? Is it the result of mentoring? None of the above! Every manager follows the doctrine set out in Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook. Here you can learn about: Pretending to care -- how to hear without listening! Making decisions -- be a leader without making any! Empty promises of promotion -- enjoy all the motivational benefits with none of the costs! An essential management bible for new managers, teaching them how to transform themselves from bitter and bewildered 'little people' into fully functioning, paradigm-spewing management zombies!
Categories: Business

The Dilbert Future

The Dilbert Future

In The Dilbert Principle and Dogbert′s Top Secret Management Handbook, Scott Adams skewered the absurdities of the corporate world.

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 9780887309106

Category: Humor

Page: 288

View: 190

Step aside, Bill Gates! Here comes today′s real technology guru and his totally original, laugh-out-loud New York Times bestseller that looks at the approaching new millennium and boldly predicts: more stupidity ahead. In The Dilbert Principle and Dogbert′s Top Secret Management Handbook, Scott Adams skewered the absurdities of the corporate world. Now he takes the next logical step, turning his keen analytical focus on how human greed, stupidity and horniness will shape the future. Featuring the same irresistible amalgam of essays and cartoons that made Adams previous works so singularly entertaining, this uproariously funny, dead-on-target tome offers half-truthful, half-farcical predictions that push all of today′s hot buttons - from business and technology to society and government. Children - they are our future, so we′re pretty much hosed. Tip: Grab what you can while they′re still too little to stop us. Human Potential - we′ll finally learn to use the 90 percent of the brain we don′t use today, and find out that there wasn′t anything in that part. Computers - Technology and homeliness will combine to form a powerful type of birth control. In The Dilbert Principle and Dogbert′s Top Secret Management Handbook, Scott Adams skewered the absurdities of the corporate world. Now he takes the next logical step, turning his keen analytical focus on how human greed, stupidity and horniness will shape the future. Featuring the same irresistible amalgam of essays and cartoons that made Adams previous works so singularly entertaining, this uproariously
Categories: Humor

The Dilbert Principle

The Dilbert Principle

Lavishly illustrated with Dilbert strips, these hilarious essays on incompetent bosses, management fads, bewildering technological changes and so much more, will make anyone who has ever worked in an office laugh out loud in recognition.

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 9780887308581

Category: Humor

Page: 352

View: 671

The creator of Dilbert, the fastest-growing comic strip in the nation (syndicated in nearly 1000 newspapers), takes a look at corporate America in all its glorious lunacy. Lavishly illustrated with Dilbert strips, these hilarious essays on incompetent bosses, management fads, bewildering technological changes and so much more, will make anyone who has ever worked in an office laugh out loud in recognition. The Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage — management. Since 1989, Scott Adams has been illustrating this principle each day, lampooning the corporate world through Dilbert, his enormously popular comic strip. In Dilbert, the potato-shaped, abuse-absorbing hero of the strip, Adams has given voice to the millions of Americans buffeted by the many adversities of the workplace. Now he takes the next step, attacking corporate culture head-on in this lighthearted series of essays. Packed with more than 100 hilarious cartoons, these 25 chapters explore the zeitgeist of ever-changing management trends, overbearing egos, management incompetence, bottomless bureaucracies, petrifying performance reviews, three-hour meetings, the confusion of the information superhighway and more. With sharp eyes, and an even sharper wit, Adams exposes -- and skewers -- the bizarre absurdities of everyday corporate life. Readers will be convinced that he must be spying on their bosses, The Dilbert Principle rings so true!
Categories: Humor

How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big

How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big

Goals are for losers; systems are for winners. Forget 'passion'; what you need is personal energy. In this brilliant book, Adams shows us how to invite failure in, embrace it, then pick its pocket.

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 9780241968703

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 256

View: 420

Dilbert creator Scott Adams' funny memoir about his many failures and what they eventually taught him about success Scott Adams has probably failed at more things than anyone you've ever met. So how did he go from hapless office worker and serial failure to the creator of Dilbert, one of the world's most famous comic strips, in just a few years? No career guide can offer advice that works for everyone. Your best bet is to study the ways of others who made it big and try to glean some tricks that make sense for you. So here Scott Adams tells how he turned one failure after another - including a corporate career, inventions, investments, and two restaurants - into something successful. Along the way he discovered some unlikely truths. Goals are for losers; systems are for winners. Forget 'passion'; what you need is personal energy. In this brilliant book, Adams shows us how to invite failure in, embrace it, then pick its pocket. While you laugh at his failures, you'll discover some helpful ideas for your own path to personal victory.
Categories: Biography & Autobiography

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel

Following in the footsteps of The Dilbert Principle, the latest business book from the master of office angst.

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher: Boxtree

ISBN: 0752266179

Category:

Page: 368

View: 569

In this new mass-market format, Sunday Times best-selling author Scott Adams presents an outrageous look at work, home, and everyday life in. Building on Dilbert's theory that "All people are idiots," Adams now says, "they are also weasels." Just ask anyone who worked at Enron. In this book, Adams takes a look into the Weasel Zone, the giant grey area between good moral behaviour and outright criminality. In the Weasel Zone, where most people reside, everything is misleading but not exactly a lie. Building on his hugely popular comic strip, Adams looks into work, home, and everyday life and exposes the weasel in everyone. With appearances from all the regular comic strip characters, Adams and Dilbert are at the top of their game - master satirists who expose the truth while making us laugh our heads off. 'Funny, apt - relentless' Financial Times 'It would be unwise to bet against The Way of the Weasel' Economist
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Handbook of Decision Analysis

Handbook of Decision Analysis

—Napoleon, “Maxims,” 1804 Nothing good ever came froma management decision.Avoid making decisions whenever possible. They can only get you in trouble. —Dogbert, Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook, 1996 2.1 Introduction 2.2 Human ...

Author: Gregory S. Parnell

Publisher: John Wiley & Sons

ISBN: 9781118515846

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 432

View: 107

A ONE-OF-A-KIND GUIDE TO THE BEST PRACTICES IN DECISION ANALYSIS Decision analysis provides powerful tools for addressing complex decisions that involve uncertainty and multiple objectives, yet most training materials on the subject overlook the soft skills that are essential for success in the field. This unique resource fills this gap in the decision analysis literature and features both soft personal/interpersonal skills and the hard technical skills involving mathematics and modeling. Readers will learn how to identify and overcome the numerous challenges of decision making, choose the appropriate decision process, lead and manage teams, and create value for their organization. Performing modeling analysis, assessing risk, and implementing decisions are also addressed throughout. Additional features include: Key insights gleaned from decision analysis applications and behavioral decision analysis research Integrated coverage of the techniques of single- and multiple-objective decision analysis Multiple qualitative and quantitative techniques presented for each key decision analysis task Three substantive real-world case studies illustrating diverse strategies for dealing with the challenges of decision making Extensive references for mathematical proofs and advanced topics The Handbook of Decision Analysis is an essential reference for academics and practitioners in various fields including business, operations research, engineering, and science. The book also serves as a supplement for courses at the upper-undergraduate and graduate levels.
Categories: Business & Economics

Comprehensive Handbook of Social Work and Social Welfare Human Behavior in the Social Environment

Comprehensive Handbook of Social Work and Social Welfare  Human Behavior in the Social Environment

... organizational actions to help us understand who is a star player and who is a social loafer. REFERENCES Adams, S. (1996a). The Dilbertprinciple. New York: Harper & Row. Adams, S. (1996b). Dogbert's top secret management handbook.

Author:

Publisher: John Wiley & Sons

ISBN: 047022259X

Category: Social Science

Page: 600

View: 754

Comprehensive Handbook of Social Work and Social Welfare, Volume 2: The Profession of Social Work features contributions from leading international researchers and practitioners and presents the most comprehensive, in-depth source of information on the field of social work and social welfare.
Categories: Social Science

Popular Stories and Promised Lands

Popular Stories and Promised Lands

... e-mail correspondents to provide the context for the humor in Dilbert—and he has turned those experiences into something of a 12-step program with the publication of The Dilbert Principle and Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook ...

Author: Roger C. Aden

Publisher: University of Alabama Press

ISBN: 9780817354725

Category: History

Page: 304

View: 474

Popular Stories and Promised Lands enters a conversation about who we are, where we've been, and where we might be going by suggesting that possible answers to those questions can be found in the popular stories we encounter at the movies, on television, in popular magazines, and even on the funny pages. As countless scholars and popular writers have noted, those of us living in the United States find ourselves at a cultural crossroads. We are increasingly aware that the stories that once permeated life in these United States, stories that tell us that social and economic progress comes from working hard, that everyone has an equal opportunity to experience such progress, do not resonate to the degree they once did. Because many Americans have traditionally defined themselves, others, and their unique sense of place through these stories, we find ourselves displaced socially, economically, politically, and/or culturally. So, Roger Aden says, we go to places of our own making. Fans of the television series The X-Files return to the Funhouse each week for a dose of frightening fun. Fans of the weekly magazine Sports Illustrated play in the American Elysian Fields where democratic efforts at balancing work and play are valued. Fans of the movie Field of Dreams work as altruistic producers in an alternative garden spot. Grounded in the author's own experiences and reinforced by the voices of approximately two hundred additional fans of the four popular stories, this book offers a compelling case for understanding the alleged wasteland of popular culture as a fertile site of individually and communally created sacred places.
Categories: History

PC Mag

PC Mag

A recent happy exception was a prepublication copy of Scott Adams' upcoming Dilbert book, Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook; Dilber1's latest tribulations and the outrages of his I. canine companion, Dogbert, the management ...

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Publisher:

ISBN:

Category:

Page: 406

View: 239

PCMag.com is a leading authority on technology, delivering Labs-based, independent reviews of the latest products and services. Our expert industry analysis and practical solutions help you make better buying decisions and get more from technology.
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