Dave Barry Slept Here

Dave Barry Slept Here

If you love to laugh, if you love your country, if you are unaware that “the Sixth Amendment states that if you are accused of a crime, you have a right to a trial before a jury of people too stupid to get out of jury duty,” Dave Barry ...

Author: Dave Barry

Publisher:

ISBN: UVA:X004153475

Category: History

Page: 239

View: 957

The syndicated humor columnist offers simple and wildly humorous solutions to the problems of educating Americans on their nation's history.
Categories: History

Dave Barry Slept Here

Dave Barry Slept Here

A Sort of History of the United States Dave Barry. DAW E B A R R Y S L E PT H E RE 39 gans such as Go BRITs! This delay caused a great deal of irritation among the patriots: PATRIOTs: C'mon! Aren't you guys ready yet?? BRITISH: Not yet!

Author: Dave Barry

Publisher: Ballantine Books

ISBN: 9780307758712

Category: Humor

Page: 192

View: 727

“What caused the American Revolution? This is indeed a rhetorical question that for many years historians have begun chapters with. As well they should. For the American Revolution is without a doubt the single most important historical event to occur in this nation except of course for Super Bowl III (Jets 16. Colts 7. This historian won $35).” So goes the skewed sensibility, the muddied mind, the bent pen of one of America's funniest writers, Dave Barry. This time his subject is U.S. history, the way it's never been told before. Every single momentous event and crucial moment is covered, including . . . • The Birthing Contractions of a Nation • Kicking Some British Butt • Barging Westward • The Forging of a Large, Wasteful Bureaucracy • Deep Economic Doo-doo • The Fifties: Peace, Prosperity, Brain Death . . . and right up through the scintillating Reagan-Bush years, during which, Mr. Barry notes, America is steadfastly Napping Toward Glory. If you love to laugh, if you love your country, if you are unaware that “the Sixth Amendment states that if you are accused of a crime, you have a right to a trial before a jury of people too stupid to get out of jury duty,” Dave Barry Slept Here is the book you've been waiting for since 1776. Or at least since Super Bowl III. Praise for Dave Barry Slept Here “A dazzling performance . . . Barry is brilliant.”—The Washington Post Book World “[Dave] Barry turns his formidable wit to the subject of American history, with a result reminiscent of the Reduced Shakespeare Company: The better you know the original, the funnier it gets.”—Los Angeles Times “I fear that Mr. Barry's dream of making millions of dollars through mass sales of his book to a captive audience of innocent schoolchildren will not be realized, and he will have to be content with making readers laugh a lot, as this one did.”—The New York Times Book Review
Categories: Humor

Louis Brandeis Slept Here

Louis Brandeis Slept Here

While my comments place " Louis Brandeis " close to the spirit of the hysterical best - seller , " Dave Barry Slept Here , " this book , unlike Barry's , remains rooted in historical reality . The author who had the most influence on ...

Author: David Gleicher

Publisher: Gefen Publishing House Ltd

ISBN: 9652291676

Category: Humor

Page: 152

View: 201

From Colonial America to intermarriage in present times, Louis Brandeis covers such controversial issues as Jews and Blacks and Jews and politics, with each point being analyzed through the eyes of history and a strong dose of irreverence.
Categories: Humor

Dave Barry Turns Forty

Dave Barry Turns Forty

DAVE BARRY SLEPT HERE: A Sort of History of the United States DAVE BARRY'S GREATEST HITS HOMES AND OTHER BLACK HOLES: The Happy Homeoumefs Guide to Ritual Closing Ceremonies, Newtonk First Law of Furniture Buying, the Lethal Chemicals ...

Author: Dave Barry

Publisher: Ballantine Books

ISBN: 9780307758736

Category: Humor

Page: 192

View: 977

"Just the ticket for the '90s." SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE If you're too young for a nursing home yet too old to be a rock star, if your marriage is as exciting as scraping grass off the lawnmower blades, then this hilarious book by Pulitzer-Prize-winning columnist and author is for you. Put on your protective eyewear and take a probing look inside your increasingly Spam-like body at: The Midlife (Yawn) Marriage; Wise Financial Planning for Irresponsible Scum Such as Yourself; Sex After 40 (or, Sex? After 40?), and other harsh, but amusing realities that leave you laughing, crying and drooling.
Categories: Humor

Dave Barry s History of the Millennium So Far

Dave Barry s History of the Millennium  So Far

... Barry Is NOT Making This Up Dave Barry Does Japan Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need Dave Barry Talks Back Dave Barry Turns 40 Dave Barry Slept Here Dave Barry's Greatest Hits Homes and Other Black Holes Dave Barry's ...

Author: Dave Barry

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 9781101207239

Category: Humor

Page: 256

View: 404

A brilliantly funny look at the tumultuous recent past from the Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist. Remember when everything was going to go to hell when Y2K struck? That didn't happen. Right? But what did happen? To provide a little perspective on a really messed-up millennium (so far), the one and only Dave Barry slips into his historian's robe (it's plush terrycloth) and revisits the defining moments in our country's recent history, from the Bush years to-jeez, it's still the Bush years! As an added bonus, Barry quickly "we're busy here" tosses in the complete history of the last millennium, covering crucial turning points such as the invention of the pizza by Leonardo da Vinci and the computer by Charles Babbage (who died in 1871 still waiting to talk to tech support). Fellow Americans, the time has come to bone up with Barry as he puts the hysterical in history.
Categories: Humor

Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway

Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway

Dave Barry Slept Here was his version ofAmerican history. Dave Barry Doesjapan was a contribution to international peace and understanding from which japan has not yet fully recovered. Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys is among the ...

Author: Dave Barry

Publisher: Ballantine Books

ISBN: 9780307808059

Category: Humor

Page: 208

View: 786

Just in time, Dave Barry supplies the wholly original, much needed history and guide to the new American politics and its three capitals, Washington, D.C., Austin, and South Florida. No surprise: it's hilarious. Understanding the urgent need for a deeply thoughtful balanced book to explain our national political process, Dave Barry has not even come close. Though he himself has covered many campaigns, run for President several times, and run for cover at the rainy inauguration of George W. Bush (the man will spare nothing for his art) Barry has instead outdone himself. Below the Beltway includes Barry's stirring account of how the United States was born, including his version of a properly rewritten Declaration (When in the course of human events it behooves us, the people, not to ask "What can our country do for us, anyway?" but rather whether we have anything to fear except fear itself...) and a revised Constitution (Section II: The House of Representatives shall be composed of people who own at least two dark suits and have not been indicted recently.). Dave also cracks the income tax code, explains the growth(s) of government, congressional hearing difficulties, and the persistent rumors of the influence of capital in the Capitol. Among other civic contributions, his tour of Washington, D.C., should end school class trips forever.
Categories: Humor

Dave Barry Does Japan

Dave Barry Does Japan

... Holes Dave Barry's Greatest Hits Dave Barry Slept Here Dave Barry Turns Forty Dave Barry Talks Back Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up Dave Barry's Gift Guide to End All Gift Guides Dave ...

Author: Dave Barry

Publisher: Ballantine Books

ISBN: 9780307758675

Category: Humor

Page: 224

View: 136

"One of the funniest peole ever to tap tap on a PC." PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER Not since George Bush's memorable dinner with the Japanese prime minister has the Land of the Rising Sun seen the likes of a goodwill ambassador like Dave Barry. Join him as he belts out oldies in a karaoke bar, marries a geriatric geisha girl, takes his first bath in public, bows to just about everyone, and explores culture shock in all its numerous humorous forms, including: Failing to Learn Japanese in Only Five Minutes (Or: "Very Much Good Morning, Sir!") ; Humor in Japan (Take My Tofu, Please!); Sports in Japan ("Yo, Batter! Loudly Make it Fly!"), and more.
Categories: Humor

Dave Barry Turns Fifty

Dave Barry Turns Fifty

Your Way to the Top Bad Habits Dave Barry's Guide to Marriage and/or Sex Homes and Other Black Holes Dave Barry's Greatest Hits Dave Barry Slept Here Dave Barry Turns 40 Dave Barry Talks Back Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever ...

Author: Dave Barry

Publisher: Ballantine Books

ISBN: 9780307778048

Category: Humor

Page: 224

View: 690

From the Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist comes a celebration of the aging process. Not just Dave's, but that of the whole Baby Boom Generation--those millions of us who set a standard for whining self-absorption that will never be equaled, and who gave birth to such stunning accomplishments as Saturday Night Live!, the New Age movement, and call waiting. Here Dave pinpoints the glaring signs that you've passed the half-century mark: - You are suddenly unable to read anything written in letters smaller than Marlon Brando. - You have accepted the fact that you can't possibly be hip. You don't even know if "hip" is the right word for hip anymore, and you don't care. - You remember nuclear-attack drills at school wherein you practiced protecting yourself by crouching under your desk, which was apparently made out of some kind of atomic-bomb-proof wood. - You can't name the secretary of defense, but you can still sing the Mister Clean song. So pop open a can of Geritol®, kick back in that recliner, grab those reading glasses, and let the good times roll--before they roll right over you!
Categories: Humor

Dave Barry s Complete Guide to Guys

Dave Barry s Complete Guide to Guys

By Dave Barry: DAVE BARRY'S GUIDE TO MARRIAGE AND/OR SEX CLAW YOUR WAY TO THE TOP STAY FIT & HEALTHY UNTIL YOU'RE DEAD BABIES AND OTHER HAZARDS OF SEX THE TAMING OF THE SCREW BAD HABITS: A 100% FACT-FREE BOOK DAVE BARRY SLEPT HERE* DAVE ...

Author: Dave Barry

Publisher: Ballantine Books

ISBN: 9780307758743

Category: Humor

Page: 272

View: 340

"Dave Barry is one funny human." --San Francisco Examiner For thousands of years, women have asked themselves: What is the deal with guys, anyway? What are they thinking? The answer, of course, is: virtually nothing. Deep down inside, guys are extremely shallow. But that has not stopped Dave Barry from writing an entire book about them. If you're a guy--or if you're attempting to share a remote control with one--you need this book, because it deals frankly and semi-thoroughly with such important guy issues as: Scratching The role of guys in world history, including the heretofore-unknown relationship between the discovery of North America and golf Why the average guy can remember who won the 1960 World Series, but not necessarily the names of all his children The Noogie Gene Why guys cannot simultaneously think and look at breasts Secret guy orgasm-delaying techniques, including the Margaret Thatcher Method Why guys prefer to believe that there is no such thing as a prostate And much, much more "Whether you're a guy--or attempting to share a bathroom with one--Barry has some wacky words of wisdom for you." --USA Today
Categories: Humor

Dave Barry s Money Secrets

Dave Barry s Money Secrets

... Black Holes Dave Barry's Greatest Hits Dave Barry Slept Here Dave Barry Turns 40 Dave Barry Talks Back Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need Dave Barry Does Japan Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up Dave Barry's Gift Guide to ...

Author: Dave Barry

Publisher: Crown Archetype

ISBN: 9780307345370

Category: Humor

Page: 240

View: 984

Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn’t stopped him from writing this book. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as: • How the U.S. economy works, including the often overlooked role of Adam Sandler • Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money • Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are—let’s be honest—a no-talent loser • How corporate executives, simply by walking into their offices, immediately become much stupider • An absolutely foolproof system for making money in the stock market, requiring only a little effort (and access to time travel) • Surefire tips for buying and selling real estate, the key being: Never buy—or, for that matter, sell—real estate • How to minimize your federal taxes, safely and legally, by cheating • Why good colleges cost so much, and how to make sure your child does not get into one • How to reduce the cost of your medical care by basically not getting any • Estate planning, especially the financial benefits of an early death • And many, many pictures of Suze Orman But that’s only the beginning! Dave has also included in this book all of the important points from a book written by Donald Trump, so you don’t have to read it yourself. Plus he explains how to tip, how to negotiate for everything (including bridge tolls), how to argue with your spouse about money, and how much allowance to give your children (three dollars is plenty). He also presents, for the first time in print anywhere, the Car Dealership Code of Ethics (“Ethic Seven: The customer is an idiot”). Also, there are many gratuitous references to Angelina Jolie naked. You can’t afford not to buy this book! Probably you need several copies. What kind of financial shape are you in right now? This scientific quiz will show you. Be honest in your answers: If you lie, you’ll only be lying to yourself! The place to lie is on your federal tax return. What is your annual income? 1. More than $50,000. 2. Less than $50,000. 3. However much I get when I return these empties. Not counting your mortgage, how much money do you currently owe? 1. Less than $10,000. 2. More than $10,000. 3. Men are threatening to cut off my thumbs. How would you describe your portfolio? 1. Conservative, mainly bonds and blue-chip equities. 2. Aggressive, mainly options and speculative stocks. 3. My what? When analyzing an investment, what do you consider to be the most important factor? 1. The amount of return. 2. The degree of risk. 3. The name of the jockey. How do you plan to finance your retirement? 1. Savings. 2. Social security. 3. Sale of kidneys. —from the Introduction: “Why You Need This Book” Also available as a Crown eBook.
Categories: Humor