Becoming Attached

First Relationships and how They Shape Our Capacity to Love

Author: Robert Karen

Publisher: Oxford University Press, USA

ISBN: 9780195115017

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 498

View: 7992

The struggle to understand the infant-parent bond ranks as one of the great quests of modern psychology, one that touches us deeply because it holds so many clues to how we become who we are. How are our personalities formed? How do our early struggles with our parents reappear in the way we relate to others as adults? Why do we repeat with our own children--seemingly against our will--the very behaviors we most disliked about our parents? In Becoming Attached, psychologist and noted journalist Robert Karen offers fresh insight into some of the most fundamental and fascinating questions of emotional life. Karen begins by tracing the history of attachment theory through the controversial work of John Bowlby, a British psychoanalyst, and Mary Ainsworth, an American developmental psychologist, who together launched a revolution in child psychology. Karen tells about their personal and professional struggles, their groundbreaking discoveries, and the recent flowering of attachment theory research in universities all over the world, making it one of the century's most enduring ideas in developmental psychology. In a world of working parents and makeshift day care, the need to assess the impact of parenting styles and the bond between child and caregiver is more urgent than ever. Karen addresses such issues as: What do children need to feel that the world is a positive place and that they have value? Is day care harmful for children under one year? What experiences in infancy will enable a person to develop healthy relationships as an adult?, and he demonstrates how different approaches to mothering are associated with specific infant behaviors, such as clinginess, avoidance, or secure exploration. He shows how these patterns become ingrained and how they reveal themselves at age two, in the preschool years, in middle childhood, and in adulthood. And, with thought-provoking insights, he gives us a new understanding of how negative patterns and insecure attachment can be changed and resolved throughout a person's life. The infant is in many ways a great mystery to us. Every one of us has been one; many of us have lived with or raised them. Becoming Attached is not just a voyage of discovery in child emotional development and its pertinence to adult life but a voyage of personal discovery as well, for it is impossible to read this book without reflecting on one's own life as a child, a parent, and an intimate partner in love or marriage.
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A General Theory of Love

Author: Thomas Lewis,Fari Amini,Richard Lannon

Publisher: Vintage

ISBN: 9780307424341

Category: Psychology

Page: 288

View: 7771

This original and lucid account of the complexities of love and its essential role in human well-being draws on the latest scientific research. Three eminent psychiatrists tackle the difficult task of reconciling what artists and thinkers have known for thousands of years about the human heart with what has only recently been learned about the primitive functions of the human brain. A General Theory of Love demonstrates that our nervous systems are not self-contained: from earliest childhood, our brains actually link with those of the people close to us, in a silent rhythm that alters the very structure of our brains, establishes life-long emotional patterns, and makes us, in large part, who we are. Explaining how relationships function, how parents shape their child’s developing self, how psychotherapy really works, and how our society dangerously flouts essential emotional laws, this is a work of rare passion and eloquence that will forever change the way you think about human intimacy. From the Trade Paperback edition.
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Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy

Essential Practices and Methods

Author: Arthur Becker-Weidman

Publisher: Jason Aronson

ISBN: 0765707950

Category: Psychology

Page: 178

View: 5766

The pervasive effects of maltreatment on child development can be repaired when professionals use effective, empirically validated, and evidence-based methods. This book describes a comprehensive approach to treatment, Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy, which is an evidence-based, effective, and empirically validated family based treatment. Therapists, social workers, residential treatment programs, psychologists, and child welfare professionals will find this book of immediate practical value. Professors teaching family-therapy, child-welfare, and child-treatment courses will find the book a good adjunct text.
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Attachment Theory and Close Relationships

Author: Jeffry A. Simpson,William Steven Rholes

Publisher: Guilford Press

ISBN: 9781572301023

Category: Psychology

Page: 438

View: 7912

In the last decade, few topics in social and personality psychology have attracted more interest than the application of attachment theory to adult relationships. Comprehensive and up-to-date, this book integrates the most important theoretical and empirical advances in this growing area of study and suggests new and promising directions for future investigation. Its balanced coverage of measurement issues, affect regulation, and clinical applications makes this a valuable sourcebook for scholars, students, and clinicians. This volume would be useful to researchers, teachers, and students, as well as clinical psychologists and other mental health practitioners.
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Attachment, Trauma, and Healing

Understanding and Treating Attachment Disorder in Children, Families and Adults

Author: Michael Orlans,Terry M. Levy

Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers

ISBN: 0857005979

Category: Psychology

Page: 482

View: 7829

Now in a fully updated and expanded edition, Levy and Orlans' classic text provides a comprehensive overview of attachment theory, how attachment issues manifest, and how they can be treated. The book covers attachment-focused assessment and diagnosis, specialised training and education for caregivers, treatment for children and caregivers and early intervention and prevention programmes for high-risk families. The authors explain their unique models of 'corrective attachment therapy' and 'corrective attachment parenting', and provide practical guidance on goals and techniques for clinicians who work with maltreated and attachment disordered children and families. This second edition incorporates advances in the fields of child and family psychology that have occurred since the book first published in 1998, with substantial new sections on interpersonal neurobiology, adult and couple treatment, the application of positive psychology. Clear, authoritative and skills-oriented, this is the essential guide to attachment for psychologists, social workers, clinicians, as well as foster and adoptive parents.
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The Forgiving Self

The Road from Resentment to Connection

Author: Robert Karen, Ph.D.

Publisher: Anchor

ISBN: 0307765156

Category: Psychology

Page: 304

View: 2903

In this fascinating book about our struggle to forgive, psychologist and award-winning author Robert Karen uses movies, people in the news, and sessions from his practice to illuminate the conflict between our wish to repair our relationships on one side and our tendency to see ourselves as victims who want revenge on the other. Why do we harden our hearts, even against those we want to love? Why do we find it so hard to admit being wrong? Why are the worst grudges the ones we hold against ourselves? When we nurse our resentments, Karen says, we are acting from an insecure aspect of the self that harbors unresolved pain from childhood. But we also have a forgiving self which is not compliant or fake, but rather the strongest, most loving part of who we are. Through it, we are able to voice anger without doing damage, to acknowledge our own part in what has gone wrong, to see the flaws in ourselves and others as part of our humanity. Karen demonstrates how we can move beyond our feelings of being wronged without betraying our legitimate anger and need for repair. The forgiving self, when we are able to locate it, brings relief from compulsive self-hatred and bitterness, and allows for a re-emergence of love.
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Why Youth is Not Wasted on the Young

Immaturity in Human Development

Author: David F. Bjorklund

Publisher: John Wiley & Sons

ISBN: 1405181451

Category: Psychology

Page: 288

View: 7418

Why Youth is Not Wasted on the Young examines the nature of childhood through an evolutionary lens and argues that childhood is an essential stage of development with its own unique purposes, separate from those of adulthood; a time of growth and discovery that should not be rushed. Written by a renowned developmental psychologist Examines the role that our period of immaturity plays on the social, emotional, and educational needs of today’s children Challenges common perceptions of children as simply “adults in training”
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Top dog/bottom dog

coming to grips with power at home, at work, and in the sexual arena

Author: Robert Karen

Publisher: Dutton Adult

ISBN: 9781556110351

Category: Psychology

Page: 282

View: 2483

Through analyses of fictitious case studies, the author demonstrates how conflicts of power develop in relationships and explains how to equalize power by breaking self-defeating habits and strategies for self-help
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Trauma and Grace

Theology in a Ruptured World

Author: Serene Jones

Publisher: Presbyterian Publishing Corp

ISBN: 0664234100

Category: Religion

Page: 175

View: 8949

This substantive collection of essays by Serene Jones explores recent works in the field of trauma studies. Central to its overall theme is an investigation of the myriad ways both individual and collective violence affect one's capacity to remember, to act, and to love; how violence can challenge theological understandings of grace; and even how the traumatic experience of Jesus' death is remembered. Of particular interest is Jones's focus on the long-term effects of collective violence on abuse survivors, war veterans, and marginalized populations, and the discrete ways in which grace and redemption might be exhibited in each context. At the heart of each essay are two deeply interrelated faith-claims that are central to Jones's understanding of Christian theology: first, we live in a world profoundly broken by violence; second, God loves this world and desires that suffering be met by words of hope, of love, and of grace. This truly cutting-edge book is the first trauma study to directly take into account theological issues.
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The Attachment Parenting Book

A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby

Author: William Sears,Martha Sears

Publisher: Little, Brown

ISBN: 9780759526037

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 192

View: 5277

Might you and your baby both sleep better if you shared a bed? How old is too old for breastfeeding? What is a father's role in nurturing a newborn? How does early attachment foster a child's eventual independence? Dr. Bill and Martha Sears -- the doctor-and-nurse, husband-and-wife team who coined the term "attachment parenting" -- answer these and many more questions in this practical, inspiring guide. Attachment parenting is a style of parenting that encourages a strong early attachment, and advocates parental responsiveness to babies' dependency needs. "The Attachment Parenting Book" clearly explains the six "Baby B's" that form the basis of this increasingly popular parenting style: Bonding, Breastfeeding, Babywearing, Bedding close to baby, Belief in the language value of baby's cry, Beware of baby trainers.Here's all the information you need to achieve your most important goals as a new parent: to know your child, to help your child feel right, and to enjoy parenting.
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The Child, The Family And The Outside World

Author: D. W. Winnicott

Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books

ISBN: 9780201632682

Category: Psychology

Page: 256

View: 7829

Dr. Winnicott explores the basic relationships of childhood starting with the bond of love between mother and infant, which he views as the key to personality. Speaking directly and informally, he explains everyday issues such as feeding, crying, playing, independence, and shyness as well as serious problems such as stealing and lying.Throughout each discussion, Dr. Winnicott emphasizes the inborn abilities of parents and carefully distinguishes these from the skill that must be learned. Fascinating chapters on the roots of aggression, on the fear of dependence and its unfortunate consequences in adulthood, and on the innate morality of the baby reveal Dr. Winnicott's characteristic wit and insight.
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Your Two-Year-Old

Terrible or Tender

Author: Louise Bates Ames

Publisher: Dell

ISBN: 0307813398

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 160

View: 6868

Are two-year-olds really so terrible, or does the world have a slightly skewed view of this sometimes difficult, sometimes adorable lot? Drs. Ames and Ilg, recognized worldwide as authorities on child behavior and development, offer parents practical advice and enlightening psychological insights on children this age. What are two-year-old girls and boys thinking and feeling? How do they see others around them? With humor and compassion, the authors describe the general characteristics of these complex toddlers: their physical growth trends, their emotional and psychological maturation. Also included are insights into how two-year-olds behave with family and other children, and advice on how to handle them, as well as tings to avoid. Included in this book: • A two-year-old’s view of the world—and himself • Bath and dressing routines • Sex differences • Stories from real life • A list of age-appropriate toys and books • A bibliography for parents “Louise Bates Ames and her colleagues synthesize a lifetime of observation of children, consultation, and discussion with parents. These books will help parents to better understand their children and will guide them through the fascinating and sometimes trying experiences of modern parenthood.”—Donald J. Cohen, M.D., Director, Yale Child Study Center, Irving B. Harris Professor of Child Psychiatry, Pediatrics, and Psychology, Yale School of Medicine
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No-talk Therapy for Children and Adolescents

Author: Martha B. Straus

Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company

ISBN: 9780393702866

Category: Psychology

Page: 242

View: 5210

An innovative approach to treatment of young clients who won't or can't respond to conversation-based therapy. Weaving practical, hands-on ideas with theory and research about child development, child treatment, and the therapeutic relationship, this book describes an innovative approach to treatment of children and adolescents who won't or can't respond to traditional, conversation-based therapy. Within an interpersonal and developmental framework, Martha Straus spells out the deceptively simple goals of no-talk therapy: someone to be close to, and something to be proud of. As Straus demonstrates in her case examples, no-talk children fit many diagnostic pictures. Many start out hesitant about the whole enterprise of therapy, and a few remain intractably detached despite the therapist's best efforts to engage them. For some, the interpersonal requirements of problem-talk or play therapy are well beyond their developmental level. Others may have an abundance of talking and playing skills and be determined not to use them. Most have had lives that are unspeakably hard. Ironically, traditional therapy, with its most fundamental purpose of helping children feel better, is painfully uncomfortable for no-talk children and adolescents. For these children, therapists need an entirely new clinical language, one that doesn't depend on words.Through empathy and respect, games, activities, community involvement, a circle of adults, and little pleasures, this approach emphasizes individual connection, competence, and creativity. Going beyond other methods, no-talk therapy begins to provide these anxious, sullen, enraged, and confused kids with the self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-awareness to develop a voice of their own. Straus opens for readers a huge grab bag of gimmicks, gadgets, and games, from which to draw resources appropriate to every no-talk occasion. Most of all, she offers herself as an engaged, creative, fallible, caring therapist who hears the pain--and the strengths--in the silence.
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Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples

Author: Leslie S. Greenberg,Susan M. Johnson

Publisher: Guilford Press

ISBN: 9780898627305

Category: Psychology

Page: 242

View: 1985

This influential volume provides a comprehensive introduction to emotionally focused therapy (EFT): its theoretical foundations, techniques, and clinical practice. EFT is a structured approach to couple therapy that integrates intrapsychic and interpersonal perspectives to help couples create new, more satisfying interactional patterns. Since the original publication of this book, EFT has been implemented and tested with growing numbers of couples in a wide range of settings. The authors, who codeveloped the approach, illuminate the power of emotional experience in relationships and in the process of therapeutic change. The book is richly illustrated with case examples and session transcripts.
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Relationships that Work

The Power of Conscious Living : how Transformative Communication Can Change Your Life

Author: David Wolf

Publisher: Mandala Publishing Group

ISBN: 9781601090157

Category: Psychology

Page: 188

View: 3292

The fundamental necessity in any good relationship is simple: both parties must first tend to their own spiritual growth. David Wolf understands this intimately, and his book elucidates that approach to relationships by revealing an effective and accessible model for self-fulfillment. By applying the strategies of conscious living, and leaving behind limiting patterns of thought and behavior, one becomes able to bring about positive change in ones' self and ones' environment. The effect that these positive changes has on a relationship can be transformative, leading to sustained happiness and growth.
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Attachment in Psychotherapy

Author: David J. Wallin

Publisher: Guilford Publications

ISBN: 1462522718

Category: Psychology

Page: 366

View: 4068

This eloquent book translates attachment theory and research into an innovative framework that grounds adult psychotherapy in the facts of childhood development. Advancing a model of treatment as transformation through relationship, the author integrates attachment theory with neuroscience, trauma studies, relational psychotherapy, and the psychology of mindfulness. Vivid case material illustrates how therapists can tailor interventions to fit the attachment needs of their patients, thus helping them to generate the internalized secure base for which their early relationships provided no foundation. Demonstrating the clinical uses of a focus on nonverbal interaction, the book describes powerful techniques for working with the emotional responses and bodily experiences of patient and therapist alike.
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All Joy and No Fun

The Paradox of Modern Parenthood

Author: Jennifer Senior

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0062072269

Category: Social Science

Page: 336

View: 2790

Thousands of books have examined the effects of parents on their children. In All Joy and No Fun, award-winning journalist Jennifer Senior now asks: what are the effects of children on their parents? In All Joy and No Fun, award-winning journalist Jennifer Senior tries to tackle this question, isolating and analyzing the many ways in which children reshape their parents' lives, whether it's their marriages, their jobs, their habits, their hobbies, their friendships, or their internal senses of self. She argues that changes in the last half century have radically altered the roles of today's mothers and fathers, making their mandates at once more complex and far less clear. Recruiting from a wide variety of sources—in history, sociology, economics, psychology, philosophy, and anthropology—she dissects both the timeless strains of parenting and the ones that are brand new, and then brings her research to life in the homes of ordinary parents around the country. The result is an unforgettable series of family portraits, starting with parents of young children and progressing to parents of teens. Through lively and accessible storytelling, Senior follows these mothers and fathers as they wrestle with some of parenthood's deepest vexations—and luxuriate in some of its finest rewards. Meticulously researched yet imbued with emotional intelligence, All Joy and No Fun makes us reconsider some of our culture's most basic beliefs about parenthood, all while illuminating the profound ways children deepen and add purpose to our lives. By focusing on parenthood, rather than parenting, the book is original and essential reading for mothers and fathers of today—and tomorrow.
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